This is NOT a Diary!
by RBTL
Summary: Albus Severus Potter is stuck spending his summer with his family, Scorpius Malfoy and a book he's supposed to write in. His family is annoying, Scorpius is hot and the book is NOT a diary. Can he survive? AS/S, complete
1. Week 1

**Friday, June 30, 2023**

I wasn't sure why at the time, but today Grandma Molly and Grandpa Arthur met us kids at the train. Grandma handed each of us a parcel wrapped in brown parchment and informed us that we weren't to open them until supper. Then they gave out hugs and kisses and Apparated away.

It was the oddest thing.

It only got odder when Lily, James, and I opened our packages at supper after telling Mum and Dad how school was this term. We found a book and a letter inside. The letter explained everything. Apparently, Grandma and Grandpa both turned seventy-five this year and are celebrating their fifty-fifth wedding anniversary this summer. So they are dragging all of their kids and grandkids and great-grandkids halfway around the world to some all-inclusive wizarding resort. Well, it's not halfway around the world, but it is all the way across the Atlantic Ocean off the coast of the United States of America.

Even better, we are supposed to write about everything we do in the books. Honestly, does Grandma think I'm a girl? Diaries are so... girly. Not to mention, school's out for the summer. I was planning on putting the books and quills away till fall! I get enough of teachers and essays and assignments in school, and I just know she's going to want to know if I wrote in it too. And I cannot lie for anything. So I'm going to have to write in it... you... the book this writing it in. Whatever.

This _isn't_ going to be a diary or a journal though! I'll just write... letters to myself, in the future. Like a time-memory spell where you copy your memory and lock it away in wizardspace until ten or twenty years in the future. Which isn't girly. At all.

I feel like an idiot for talking to myself in a book.

**Saturday, July 1, 2023**

It's not fair! James's graduation gift is that he gets to bring his girlfriend on the trip. I wish I could bring someone on the trip. Even one of the guys from my dorm, would be better than being stuck with all the little kids. Yuck. I'm probably going to have to babysit all of them the whole trip. And now James's girlfriend is over here bugging all of us while we pack because she

Whoa. I just got the most awesome blackmail material on James. I'm sitting here, writing in this silly book, and listening to Levana Longbottom berate James over his choice of clothes for the trip. And then she opened his underwear drawer and pulls out a pair of girl's underwear apparently because James smirked (I could hear it in his voice) and he goes, "I told you. I still have your underwear."

And then Levana replied, "I still have your virginity."

I _knew_ James was lying when he told me he had sex as a fourth year! Here I was thinking I was all immature because I haven't had a girlfriend yet, and James was lying completely because he and Levana didn't even start dating until six months ago. Ha! Git. And his comeback was, "Would you shut up?"

Idiot!

Geeze. Mum's calling. Apparently she needs my help packing because James is busy with Levana and Lily is flooing Rose to discuss beach outfits. I wish my siblings were less self-absorbed.

Later

Arg! I hate fighting with people (except James). Mum and I really got into it just now though. When I complained that I wanted to take someone along, she asked why, "Rose is going, who else would you want to take?"

I dunno, Mum, maybe someone who won't insult my intelligence every ten minutes? I love Rose, really, she's my cousin after all. Loving someone doesn't mean I have to like them though. She so uppity, always hanging out with the Ravenclaws even though she's a Gryffindor like me.

She used to be my best friend. Ever since third year we have been growing apart, and now she barely talks to me. I don't really have any other close friends, so I don't know why she just abandoned me like that.

Never mind, I'm being girly. What's this with confessing my feelings to books? Ick.

But Mum got mad at me when I called Rose a prat. It's not even like I used any cuss words! So I screamed at her for being unfair and she screamed at me for screaming at her. And then Dad came in and murmured at the both of us to calm down and go back to packing. So we did.

I don't know how he does it, but Dad can always calm me down. I inherited Dad's looks and Mum's personality. Mum and I both have horrid tempers, so she and I clash a lot. Dad and Lily are both pretty even tempered, so I get along well with them. And James is just an idiot, so I put up with him. Neither Lily nor James can calm me and Mum down when we start fighting. Dad's the only one who knows how to keep us calm.

Still, as soon as Dad left the room, we started arguing again. Luckily Lily _finally_ got out of the floo then and came to help Mum pack, so I was allowed to escape. Only now I have to pack up my own stuff because we are leaving tonight. Arg!

I wonder if we are flooing or portkeying...

Even Later

Do you know where I am right now? No, probably not. You'll never guess either. I'm on an airplane. One of those stupid tin cans that Muggles think are proper transportation. Grandpa decided he wanted to do some Muggle stuff on the vacation, so instead of buying international Floo powder or a long-distance Portkey, we are miles up in the sky, suspended far above the ground by _metal_. Does anyone but me realize that metal is _heavy_ and doesn't float? No, they are all busy peering out the window at the ground.

I don't know why they are bothering to look. There's nobody on the road and there's nobody on the beach. That little lake down there is empty, as are all of the streets. That's because it's getting late and the sun is going down alone. There's no moon tonight. And even if there was we are hundreds of miles above the ground, so all they can see is patches of color anyway!

We've been flying for two hours already and we have another six to go. The airplane woman passed out little tiny pillows that would only fit a house-elf's head about twenty minutes ago, and some liquor for the adults. James asked for some, but the woman wouldn't give him any because it's an American flight and they won't let you drink until you are twenty or something. Americans are odd.

I'm getting sleepy and I'm tired of listening to James tell Levana that Crumple-Horned Snorkacks do not attack planes. Goodnight.

**Sunday, July 2, 2023**

So we are finally at Bermuda Bliss. Apparently there is no airport on the island, so we took a roomkey (they invented this thing in America where you stand in a room and the whole room ports to wherever you want it to. The walls don't move though, just everything in them. It's freaky.) to the resort. It's somewhere is the Bermuda Triangle, which is a slice of the ocean that has natural Muggle repelling properties, so almost everything here is wizard-owned. It's pretty cool actually; I've never seen so many wizards in one place at the same time, not even at Hogwarts or a professional Quidditch match.

The resort is huge. The brochure I picked up while we were checking-in says they can accommodate two-thousand wizards on this island. They even have three more resorts like this on neighboring islands that hold more people than that! It's crazy. The resort is really cool though, a lot cooler than I thought it would be. There is actually an activity group for each of the little kids' age groups and one for us teens, so I won't have to spend the whole summer with the babies. The teen thing has some stupid sounding activities, but whatever, it's better than babysitting.

They are shot off fireworks tonight. Apparently they get a lot of customers from America and Canada, so they are lighting off fireworks every night from July 1 through July 4 so that they can have their national holidays even when they aren't in their nations. I don't care about someone else's independence day thing, but the fireworks were awesome. They weren't Weasley Whiz-bangs though, so they weren't the best I've ever seen, but they had a cool flag one for Canada tonight. I'm guessing there will be a flag for America tomorrow.

I don't really care. I'm going to bed. James is making out with Levana on the balcony and Hugo and Louis are trying to break into the mini-bar, so there isn't anything to talk to but this book. Obviously, I must be bored if I'm writing in it this much.

**Monday, July 3, 2023**

Merlin. It's just my luck that out of all the wizarding resorts in the world, Scorpius Malfoy had to show up at this one. What, did they run a special for English wizards? Arg! I went to the teen are today where they were doing a hang about day and playing Muggle games and stuff, and right after I walked in and introduced myself to the guy in charge in comes Malfoy. He's a snotty as he is at school and refuses to talk to me for at least an hour, talking to all of the other kids while I played the Muggle video games (which are strangely addictive.) Finally, he acts like he's just noticed me, and he comes over and starts asking me what I'm doing at the resort, like he wants to be mates. What the hell?

So I kept ignoring him and finally he frowns and says, "What does a boy have to do to impress you?"

So I just smirked (at least, I hope I smirked… I'm not sure if I know how to smirk properly.) at him and said, "Well, it involves a feather boa and the theme to A Summer Place. I can't discuss it here." And the pansy blushed! He blushed! Honestly, all I meant was that I was impressed by Guy Coote's drunken dancing after Gryffindor won the last House Cup because I've always wanted to be able to dance without feeling like I'm going to be laughed at.

I bet he was thinking something kinky. Eww. I'm _not_ going back to the teen thing now.

**Tuesday, July 4, 2023**

I went back to the teen thing. Mum and Dad made me. I told them I didn't want to go back and Mum accused me of being antisocial. I said (well, hollered) that I'm not antisocial, I just don't like people. So she called me a smart-ass. Which upset me and I was just about ready to yell at her when Dad steps in and says to calm down again. Why won't he just let us fight? He said I had to go back because he didn't want me running around unsupervised.

Finally I tried to tell them that I didn't want to go back because of Malfoy. Dad turned a bit green and told me I didn't have to go back, and I was about ready to celebrate when Mum gave him the _look_ and he told me I had to go back. Not fair! Maybe I want to be antisocial!

I went back to the teen thing though, and they told us we were all going to the beach. Then they transfigured all of our clothing into bathing suits so we couldn't say no. It was actually pretty fun. There was a nice breeze blowing and the sun was out, so it was warm, but not hot. We played a Muggle game called beach volleyball, which I sucked at but everyone else did too.

Malfoy kept trying to talk to me though, and it ruined my whole day. He was acting all uppity and trying to stay out of the sun. I laughed so hard when I told he he was getting freckles and he actually went to the bathroom to go look in the mirror and check. Seriously, can you get any more pathetic?

We ended up having a semi-normal conversation about Quidditch though, since that's what the teen group is supposed to do tomorrow. I didn't even realize it for almost ten minutes, and when I figured out that we were talking nicely, I insulted his hair so that he would go away. The baby looked like he was going to cry, but at least he went away.

This was the last night for fireworks, but I didn't watch them. For some reason they made me think of Malfoy and how his face had twisted up when I insulted him. Maybe it was because the white ones were the same color as his hair? I don't know; I don't care! He's just a ponce. That's all.

**Wednesday, July 5, 2023**

That freaking Malfoy made a total fool out of me today! We were on opposite teams for Quidditch, both of us playing Chaser, and he kept brushing up against me in mid-air to startle me and make me drop the ball. It made me hard, and I don't know why. Grandma Molly is _not_ allowed to read this. Ever.

To make it even worse though, he was talking to Rose when I showed up at the group, and then he abandoned her to come bother me. I told him to fuck off because I was going to beat him, and he goes, "Put your cards on the table."

I laughed and said, "Do you really thing I'm going to fold that easily?"

He grinned and said, "I can see the future. I'm going to win your soul."

And then they started choosing teams. We ended up on opposite ones, of course, and started playing. Then he started touching me! He would reach out an arm to touch my sleeve and blame it on a bug being on my arm. Or he'd brush his whole body past mine, trying to get the Quaffle. It was horrible! I hated every minute of it, and I couldn't concentrate because I was so hot he was being so rude!

So, he's cheating and distracting me, and his team ends up winning and he tells me, "I can play you like a puppet."

I could have screamed! What the hell does he want from me?

I'm never writing in this book again either. I sound so stupid. Ick. I'm not a girl! Really!

Arg!


	2. Week 2

**Thursday, July 6, 2023**

Oh, Merlin. I know I said I wasn't going to write in this thing anymore, but I have to get this out, and I don't know who to talk to.

Scorpius Malfoy is GAY.

Really. I saw him flirting with a guy today. I tried to tell Rose about it, but she said I was imagining things. James told me to bugger off as soon as he saw me, and I can't discuss this with Lily. She's only 15! She probably doesn't even like boys. I hope. She better not like boys. If one of them breaks her heart, I'll break his jaw! I should keep a closer eye on her when she's near boys…

Anyway, the teen group has this dorky thing where every Friday this summer they are having a "dance." So every Thursday they are going to offer dance classes. The theme for this week is hip-hop. Rose thought it sounded cool, so she dragged me along and abandoned me for some guy. He wasn't even that cute; he was way too muscled. Guys that are attractive look like Scorpius Malfoy Oliver Wood: skinny with toned arms and legs and a tight stomach with a six pack. They shouldn't have the "twelve pack" that Rose's guy did. He freaked me out.

So we get to the place where they are doing the dance classes and it turns out the instructor is actually a guy our age, maybe a bit older. He's thin and toned. The girls were all standing around ogling him and giggling. When he goes to start the class he asks for a volunteer to be his partner. A bunch of girls raised their hands, but instead he grabs Malfoy who has come for some random reason. (I don't know why… I would have avoided it at all costs if it weren't for Rose.)

The instructor, Dick (his real name is Richard, but I think Dick sounds better), shows them a few moves and has Malfoy copy him. He actually wasn't that bad for a pasty pale Slytherin that looks like he's never been outside. But then Dick glances around the room and gives out a grin that makes the girls swoon.

"Don't tell anyone what I'm about to show you," he whispered, like it was some big stupid secret. "This is only a summer job, but I still don't want to lose it."

He stepped over to Malfoy then and moved behind him. A wave of his wand turned the music into this throbbing, thrumming beat that went all the way through my bones. "This is called grinding," he says, and then he shoves his, his _dick_ right up against Malfoy's backside and starts _rubbing_!

It was hot obscene. Apparently it's fun and muggles like it. I think it looked like they were having sex on the dance floor. It practically was sex! Malfoy started swaying to the beat and then he leaned his whole body up against Dick and moaned.

He sounded like a girl. Seriously. That was why I got hard. The sight of his hard on pushing against his tight board shorts did not in anyway cause that reaction. It was all because he acted so feminine that I forgot he was a bloke.

And then Dick backs off and explains more about grinding and the fact that it is not allowed at the dance and if we do it they will remove us. He made us practice dancing then and I got stuck with a blonde who had boobs the size of her head, but they were obviously just a charm, so I was not impressed. Malfoy danced with a bird too, but Dick kept going by and brushing against him or touching his arm.

Malfoy has to be gay. Why else would he let Dick touch him like that?

After the class, Rose decided to drag me off to lunch with her boy toy and boy toy's acne-ridden younger sister. Before we left I watched Malfoy and Dick some more. Dick kept running his hand through his hair and edging closer to Malfoy, who was just smiling this smile. I've never seen Malfoy smile that brightly before.

Then again, I'm usually taunting and harassing him, so he doesn't smile at me. I really wish he would.

Because I wouldn't mind being friends! That's the only reason. I'm not gay. Really. I'm not.

**Friday, July 7, 2023**

Yay! Tonight was fun! I danced with the girl I danced with yesterday and she let me touch her boobs. I was right, they weren't real because they felt way smaller than they looked. And then Dicky-Ricky came up behind us and started to grind me for just a minute, and Merlin was he hard. It was so hot. I guess an adult came into the room though because he left and that was sad.

Oh! Malfoy spiked the lemonade too! I saw him do it. He poured copse corp copius copious amounts of alcohol into the bowl. So I drank a ton of it. And then I got him to give me the bottle of alcohol (I think it was vodka, but it might have been gin. Or whisky. Whatever, it was yummy.) by licking him. Yup. He was just standing at the wall and watching people dance, the bottle in his hand, so I walked up to him and asked for it. He said no, not even if I kissed his ass. So I asked, what if I licked it. He blushed! It was so cute!

"Not my ass, no." I think that was what he said anyway. So I licked from his yummy collarbone all the way up to his yummy ear and back down. And he shuddered and shivered and almost dropped the alcohol, but I caught it. So I said thank you and left and snuck back up to my room to drink it. But he was still red when I left and it made me so hard that I had to toss off in the bathroom so I could walk. I've got the bottle though and this book thingy I'm writing in and I'm a little bit smashed, but it's okay because Malfoy was so hot.

Now I've got to go wank again.

**Saturday, July 8, 2023**

Sweet Merlin, I licked Scorpius Malfoy.

Later…

I wanked over Scorpius Malfoy.

Later…

I'm hung over and Mum won't let me have any pain or nausea potions. And she's making me go on the teen group's backpacking trip today.

I think Malfoy's coming too. Save me?

Much later…

Everything was okay, at first. Malfoy and I ignored each other and were at opposite sides of the group. I was hoping that maybe he was smashed and had forgotten about me licking him, but then I looked over at him and he grinned and licked his lips. So he remembers. But that's okay, really. Because he doesn't know that I wanked over him. I don't know why I decided that Malfoy was hot enough to toss off to, especially since he's a guy and I'm not gay and he had broccoli stuck in his teeth most of the day. Really, he's completely unattractive.

He's too skinny and too pale. I think he likes being pale because when we were listening to the counsellor drone on about the forest around the resort he put on gallons of sunblock potion. (About the only thing I caught from the lecture was "Back in the 60's, some hippies came here and turned the place into a commune. You know, sex, and drugs, and debauchery." Which is actually kind of awesome.) He slicked it all over his arms and even took off his shirt to put it on his chest. And then he had the nerve to come over and ask me to put some on his back.

Mum always told me to be polite too, so of course I had to smooth some on for him. You wouldn't believe it, but he has the tightest, most awesome muscles in his back and upper arms. I wish I had muscles like that.

He left his shirt off after that too, so when we took turns climbing up into the hippies' tree house, I got to watch the muscles move under his skin. Merlin, I want muscles like that.

But other than the muscles, he's not at all hot. In fact, he's just a scrawny brat with freaky white hair and weird grey eyes. He's not worth turning gay for. I'll never be gay! I'm straight!

**Sunday, July 9, 2023**

I think I might be just a little bit bent. And a little bit drunk. Uncle Charlie gave James a bottle of firewhisky and a bottle of wine, and Levana complained that she doesn't like the smell of firewhisky so he gave it to me. And I drank like half of it.

Today was so horrible. It was rainy and Grandpa and Grandma asked us all to hang out as a family, so I didn't see Scorpius Malfoy for most of the day. And when I did see him, he was off flirting with that dance instructor. He even let Dick hold his hand.

I don't think he'd let me hold his hand.

For some reason I want to though.

Anyway, after spending all day with the family, they finally let us go back to our rooms so that they could have some adult time. So now I'm just sitting here, watching the rain beat against my window pane, and thinking about the summer days that have gone by. We've only been here a week now, but it feels like so much longer. The nights on this island are so warm and sleepy and you can see so many stars up in the sky, far more than you can see in England.

I'm starting to think there's more magic in this place than muggle repelling spells. It feels like the whole world is covered in magic. But it might just be that my brain's covered in firewhisky...

**Monday, July 10, 2023**

Mum and Dad sent me back to the teen group again today. I'm starting to think they don't care about me being safe and that they just want me out of their hair. Luckily Uncle Charlie slipped me a hang-over potion, so I'm not as miserable and out of it as I was on Saturday. Unfortunately, now that my head isn't pounding and I don't feel like I'm going to throw up at any minute, it's much harder to keep myself from staring at Scorpius.

I just wrote Scorpius. Not Malfoy. Not even Scorpius Malfoy. Just Scorpius.

I must be bent. Seriously, there are a bunch of girls floating around wearing nothing but bikinis and I can't keep my eyes off of Scorpius, who's wearing these huge swim trucks and a wife beater.

Oh, no. He's seen me looking at him.

Later…

I had to put the book away before he came over. How dorky would I look if he caught me writing in a journal/diary/letter thing? But he came over, and he started talking to me and pointing out people. I was so busy focusing on him, I hadn't realized that there were a bunch of rich and famous people here too.

He pointed out some people I'd heard on the Wizarding Wireless and a couple of Quidditch players from the United States and one from Spain. As he kept pointing out all of these people, I got this insane urge to try to get him to smile, so I said, "Welcome to the world of scantily-clad celebrities," and I got an actual laugh out of him! Merlin, I've never heard a hotter laugh. It was deep and husky and it made me want to jump his bones.

So I give up. I'm bent. But only for Scorpius. And I'm basically sure of this because when Dick-head came over and started flirting with Scorpius again, it was all I could do not to growl at him.

I'm so doomed.

**Tuesday, July 11, 2023**

I knew that Dick-head was interested in Scorpius. It was so obvious! And they seemed to have something good going on, which I hated. I couldn't stop watching them today, no matter how much I was disgusted by the two of them.

I know. I'm jealous. I'm jealous that Dick-head gets to touch Scorpius. I'm jealous that Scorpius asked _him_ to put sunblock on his back today instead of me. I was even jealous of their stupid little innocent conversations.

Like this one:

Dick-head: "So, tell me, what is your ideal meal?"

Scorpius: "I love anything with potatoes in it. Mother says it's plebian, but I could eat an entire plate of mashed potatoes for dinner."

Dick-head: "Anything aside from potatoes spark your interest?"

(Blushing) Scorpius: "Well, I have a confession to make. I had a hot dog once and it was the most delicious thing on earth."

Blah, blah, blah. It's not fair! I want Scorpius to pay attention to me! I want to be the one he confesses about food to! I want to cover him in sunblock potion and touch his arms and smile at him and just be around him.

I tried to get close to him today. Really, I did. But Dick-head wouldn't go away.

And every time I tried to talk to Scorpius he would give me this horrible fake smile and tell me something inane, as if he didn't want me around.

What did I do wrong? I'm so confused! I thought he maybe liked me. I mean, he was hanging about with me last week. And now he won't pay any attention to me.

I should go straight again. Stupid gay boys and their hot muscles.

**Wednesday, July 12, 2023**

We played Quidditch again today. And Scorpius didn't touch me once, even though we were on the same team. This might have been because I played Seeker this time and he was a Chaser, but it was probably because Dick-head played a Chaser too. There I was, all alone up above everyone, the sun almost too hot on my back, as I watched for the Snitch. I couldn't help but see Scorpius brush up against Dick-head and Dick-head reach out to grab him playfully.

I hated being up there, left on my own. So I did my best to spot the Snitch and I grabbed it before the game had been on for an hour. I got my arse up after it and caught it before the other Seeker. I tried to show Scorpius that our team had won, but he was already gone, as was Dick-head.

This is such a cruel summer. It's even worse than I thought it would be when I first opened up this book.

And I sound like a girl. Or gay. Or both.

I want to go home. Stupid Bermuda Bliss. Stupid Scorpius. Stupid me.


	3. Week 3

**Thursday, July 13, 2023**

I went to dance class today, of my own volition. I shouldn't have gone. I knew it was going to be stupid, but I didn't know I would end up getting hurt, in more ways than one.

From the minute I walked in the door of the room, I knew that today was not going to be a good day. Scorpius was standing by Dick-head, acting like he was interested in every word that fell out of his mouth. Rose's boy-toy from last week pushed his sister at me, and I was stuck keeping her company while Rose snogged with boy-toy and Scorpius flirted with Dick-head.

Then we started the dance lesson. We learned this stupid old dance called swing that was popular back before my parents were even born. It was all something like, "left, left, right, right, back, in-place" or something. I didn't really get it, but I followed along as best as I could. Scorpius was abandoned by Dick-head while he did his job, but the two of them kept shooting glances at each other across the room. It made me sick.

In fact, it upset me so badly I stumbled over my partners sandals and ran into the wall. I ended up with a bloody nose. Rose laughed at me, as did half of the teens in the room, and Dick-head wandered over nonchalantly and asked me if I was okay.

I had blood streaming down my face at that point, but sure, I was okay! Idiot.

Scorpius came over then and helped me up from where I had fallen. He told Dick-head he was going to take me to the first aid station and that he would be back later. And then he proceeded to place his arm around me. One of his strong, muscular arms. I love those arms…

He half-carried me to the infirmary, and I can't say I tried to stop him. My nose hurt a lot, but I might have milked it just a bit to get him to stay with me while the mediwitch treated me. Unfortunately, it only took a single spell to stop the bleeding and heal me. So we were in and out in mere minutes.

Scorpius smiled at me then, a real smile, and asked if I was okay. I wanted to lie and say "no, I'm in pain, stay with me." I said yes though, and Scorpius nodded and wandered off in the direction of the dance class. I know he was going back to see Dick-head again.

I couldn't take the thought of watching them flirt right in front of me, so I came back up to the room. I told Mum and Dad I don't feel good and they're letting me stay here, but I'm not supposed to wander. As if I would go anywhere. Why would I? My family is busy with their new friends and the only person I'd want to talk to outside my family is Scorpius.

And he barely cares that I'm alive.

**Friday, July 14, 2023**

I'm tired being emo. I'm going to the dance party tonight. I'm going to fucking swing dance with a girl-next-door type. I'll steal away with some beach babe and get drunk on soda pop and walk along the shore in the moonlight. And I'm not going to think about Scorpius Malfoy.

Later…

I went to the "High School Hop" throwback thing and danced all night. I didn't look around for Malfoy. I didn't even try to see if he was hanging out with that sun-tanned, crew-cut, all-american Dick-head. And you know what? I had fun! There weren't many guys there, so all the girls were vying to be my dance partner and it was actually pretty entertaining to watch all of us try to follow the steps we only learned yesterday. Eventually we kind of gave up and started dancing however we wanted to.

One of the guys, Jeremy, told me that there's going to be an overnight camping trip tomorrow too. I'm going, and frankly, I don't give a damn if Scorpius comes or not.

**Saturday, July 15, 2023**

The trip has been awesome! We went hiking along the same path we took last Saturday, but we went farther this time and came out of the woods on the other side. There is a huge cliff off this end of the island, and we are sleeping on it. It's pretty cool because there have been charms cast to keep people from falling or jumping off of the cliff, so you could literally sleep right next to the edge if you wanted. I didn't want to though, so I'm sharing a tent set near the base of the cliff with Jeremy and a couple of other guys. The tents really luxurious with separate rooms for each of us and a living area and a bathroom. Plus the ocean is practically right next to the tent. It's really amazing.

We have a lot of nature around Hogwarts, but it's different being here. The ocean is nothing like a lake, and the forest is interesting instead of scary. The scenery here is a lot calmer and gentler feeling than it is at Hogwarts. I kind of wish

I had almost forgotten about Scorpius. Really, I had. I was enjoying myself and enjoying meeting new people. Now I'm upset. Here I was minding my own business when I hear a sound from a nearby tent. It sounded like someone was crying or in pain, so I went to go make sure they were okay. Imagine my surprise when I open the tent flap to find Scorpius and Dick-head having sex in the living area.

I ran straight back to the tent, and flung myself into it, and curled up on my bed in my room. That was not something I wanted to see, ever. I hoped that Scorpius was just flirting with him. I never imagined that he actually liked him like that. Even if he did like him like that, I can't believe they got so serious so quickly. We've barely been on the island for two weeks!

Jeremy just told me they are roasting marshmallows on a campfire, but I'm not going out there. I can't take looking at Scorpius and Dick-head. I just can't…

I don't care if I sound stupid. My heart hurts.

**Sunday, July 16, 2023**

It's been raining ever since I went to sleep last night. It's almost like the island knows how upset I am and wants me to face it. So I am facing it.

I like Scorpius.

I'll admit it. The truth is, I don't really know him very well. I'm a Gryffindor and he's a Slytherin, and we always seemed to miss each other at school. I never went out of my way to talk to him or to ignore him. We rarely had classes together and we didn't exactly travel in the same group of friends. I've always admired him from afar though. He seems so put together all of the time. I wish I had his poise.

It's more than admiration now though. I really, really like him, or at least what I know about him. If I'm going to come to terms with that though, I have to come to terms with the fact that I'm bi-sexual. I know this. I think I always have. I just hate admitting it because it makes me different. I like girls. I also like guys. People don't understand that. I've seen it in the muggle world and in the wizarding one. People understand if you like the opposite gender, that's natural. People sometimes understand when you like your own gender. It isn't natural, but they can blame it on gender confusion or something. If you like both genders though? You're just a perv.

I've heard my own parents discuss it. My mother said that if you are bisexual then you should simply decide on one gender and stick with it. I can't do that though. When I look at boys and girls, I like them equally, if differently. Boys are strong and powerful and I'm comfortable around them. Girls are softy and silky and so mysterious that I just want to know more about them. I feel like if I choose one, then I'll lose something. And if I choose one, and then find out that the person I want to be with forever is the other gender, what will people say about me?

I've always dated girls before, but I'd love to date a boy. I'd really love to date Scorpius. But what would people say if I told them?

What would Scorpius say? Would he even care? Probably not. He's got Dick-head after all.

**Monday, July 17, 2023**

I hung out in the teen area all day today and I didn't see Scorpius once. I'm so pathetic, but I can't even seem to make myself care. I wish I knew what to do about him. Should I just ask him out? Or would he laugh in my face? I'm nothing compared to Dick-head after all. He's got muscles and a tan and stubble. I barely have peach fuzz, my hair refuses to behave, and I burn as fast as any Weasley, so I don't have a tan.

I do have the advantage of having known Scorpius for years though. If you count six years of no acknowledgement as knowing someone. I don't even know what classes he's in or who his closest friends are. Merlin, Dick-head's probably learned more about him in a week than I ever have.

I wonder what I did that turned Scorpius off of me. He seemed friendly at first. Maybe he just figured I'd be easy since he knew me and then when he got a better deal, he dumped me. It can't even be called dumping though because we weren't going out.

Ugh. I don't get guys. I don't get girls either. I should just swear off both genders and call myself asexual. (Only that brings to mind odd thoughts of clones springing off of me. I never should have asked Aunt Hermione to give me a sex talk instead of Mum or Dad…)

**Tuesday, July 18, 2023**

I can't seem to get my mind off of Scorpius. He probably doesn't even remember me now that he has his gorgeous boyfriend to fuck around with. I wish we had never come to this resort. There's nothing to do here on this stupid island but play muggle games with the teens or watch James and Levana snog. All I want to do is crawl into bed and not come out until it's time to board the Hogwarts Express in September.

I can't believe I pushed him away like that. It stupid of me to do that. Now I can't get over him, no matter how hard I try to forget how silly he looked when he fell into the water playing beach volleyball or how angry he was last year when Professor Zeller refused to give him full points on one of his potions assignments even though it seemed perfect. Yes, I'm desperate enough that I'm pulling up every last memory of him that I have. I even found myself wishing I had a Pensieve so that I could examine them in detail.

My family is starting to worry about me too. Mum was whispering to Aunt Hermione earlier that I was looking despondent and Dad tried to get me to play a game of Seeker-Seeker Quidditch a few minutes ago. I don't want to though. I just want to sit here and write or curl into a ball and cry. Since I'm not sure what else to write, I think I'll probably go with the latter option.

Damn it! I hate being so completely stupid like this, but I can't seem to stop. Damn it, damn it, damn it!

**Wednesday, July 19, 2023**

I'm speechless. But not.

Scorpius broke up with Dick-head.

Actually, Dick-head broke it off first, but that isn't the point. They are no longer together. I am a horrible person for celebrating this, but I'm celebrating it nonetheless. Because do you know who Scorpius let comfort him? ME.

Today was Quidditch day at the teen thing, but I refused to play even though Jeremy and Rose tried to get me to. So I was there for a front row seat when Dick-head started flirting with a bloke who was NOT Scorpius and Scorpius saw it. He dropped straight out of the sky, right in the middle of the game, to confront Dick-head. And Dick goes, "Oh. Sorry, Scor, but I never said we were exclusive."

Scorpius replied, "Well, I don't want you hanging about with other guys while you are dating me!" I thought that was reasonable, even if I didn't like the idea of them dating.

But Dick-head says, "We aren't dating." And then he turns back to the other bloke. I don't know what happened after that point though because I was too busy watching Scorpius. I've never seen someone's face crumple and then return to normal so quickly. If I had blinked I would have missed it. The next thing I knew Scorpius had dropped the broom on the ground and walked away. The other players hollered at him to come back but he didn't even spare them a glance as he stomped off.

I could have let him go, but in that second where he lost his composure it had looked like he was barely holding onto himself. So I ran after him like a silly schoolgirl chasing her crush. Rose came after me, abandoning the game as well, but I told her to shove off and tell everyone I was fine but I might not be back for a while. And then I followed him halfway across the resort until I caught up next to him by the beach.

I guess he thought I was going to give him a hard time because he snarled at me and said, "What the fuck do you want, Potter?"

I just gave him my best smile and pretended like he hadn't hurt me with his distrust. "I just wanted to sit and talk for a while. Would that be alright?"

It offended me just a little when he glared at me and asked again what I wanted. Keeping my grin happy as can be, I said, "I want nothing but a smile from you."

And he laughed at me. Bastard. But then he gave me that smile, the smile that always feels so bright and real. I'm such a sucker for a handsome smile. Then he collapsed into the sand as if smiling took all of his energy and I might have sort have fallen next to him and pulled him into a hug.

And Scorpius just started babbling some thing like, "I was just hanging around with him. He introduced himself to me on the first day we got here and I hadn't seen anyone I knew. We just passed in the hallway and he said hi and we started talking. I thought it was really cool that he was gay and open about it because no one at Hogwarts is openly gay like that. It's just so different over there and being gay is horrible and weird, but over here it seems so different, like no one cares. And then when he started coming on to me I was really surprised because I'm such a scrawny nothing and he's so bloody gorgeous. And then you were here, but you obviously didn't want to be and Richard was the only guy who was paying attention to me and I was so lonely, and then he did the grinding thing and it was so hot. And then, I don't know how, but I thought I had fallen in love. I'd never been able to touch someone like that before and all of the other guys I've liked always seemed disgusted by me. So I fell in love and I couldn't get out. But I thought it was okay and I let him touch me and do things and I shouldn't have. All he wanted was a warm body. So he took my heart and he broke it and now I'm all alone," but full of whispers and yelling and other emotional things.

The silly dunce was gasping for breath by then and obviously trying not to cry. I pulled him into a tighter hug then and said, "You're not alone now. I promise I'll hang around and I'll never take your little heart and break it." I felt him shudder then and I knew he was about to break, so I asked him, "What kind of homosexual are you?"

He looked up at me like I was crazy and said, "The kind that fucks men?"

"Nonsense! You aren't being a proper poof at all! You are supposed to be all flamboyant and run around crying madly and laughing insanely and being all poncey." I got up then and pretended to ballet dance and cry and act as fairy-like as I could. It didn't work like I thought it would though because he started laughing and then the laughs turned into sobs and then he started laughing again.

I just stood there, probably looking like a dummy, until he finally spoke. "I have a hard time trusting people. I just never wanna jump unless I'm sure somebody's gonna catch me. I don't know why I let myself freefall like this. It was stupid of me. Completely out of character."

I acted like a total dweeb and said, "It's okay to let yourself take a risk every once in a while. Just know that next time you jump, I'll catch you. And if I miss for any reason, I'll sit by your bedside and nurse you back to health."

"Merlin, Al, you are such a girl." It was an insult, yes, but he accompanied it with a smile, one of the real ones that made his whole face light up even though his eyes were red and puffy and his nose was running, so I couldn't take it as an insult.

We ended up sitting and talking until the sun set into the ocean in front of us. We were sunburned and hungry, but I can't remember ever being happier than I was sitting there with him. Finally, I escorted him to his room and came back here to write this down because I've never had a better day and I don't want to forget a moment of it.

Merlin, have I got it bad...


	4. Week 4

**Thursday, July 20, 2023**

Today was perfect.

Dad woke everyone up at the crack of dawn today and gave us this inane speech. It went something like this:

"Remember that road trip your mother and I took you on for our anniversary on when you guys were little? We roasted marshmallows and spent time stargazing and played with Glitter Sparklers from your Uncle George's shop. Well, we are going to do it again today because it's been ten years since then and we feel like reminiscing."

Gag me with a spoon. I suppose it was better than the poem he wrote for mum last Valentine's day. He was all: "Hear this now, it is true! I will always come for you! How can you be sure, you ask? Because true love cannot be masked. True love doesn't happen every day, except in the month of May."

That poem made me throw up a little in my mouth.

But ANYWAY, that wasn't the good part of today. The good part started after that, when Lily got mouthy with Mum and Dad.

"How are we going to go on a road trip if we are on this little island?" she asked first.

So Mum said, "Well, it will actually be a boat trip to the surrounding islands, but we'll do all the things we did on the road trip."

James piped up then and asked if Levana could come and Mum said of course, which made Lily freak out.

"I wanna bring a friend too!"

Mum and Dad shared a look then and finally Dad sighed and agreed as long as the friend's parents were okay with it. And of course they were, because who would tell Harry Potter they didn't trust him with their kid?

I piped up then and mentioned that I wanted to bring Scorpius. And Mum and Dad couldn't say no because they had already told Lily she could bring a friend. So Dad came with me to talk to Scorpius and his parents about coming and they agreed. I don't think Dad was expecting that because his jaw just fell open when Mr. Malfoy said he trusted Dad.

So Scorpius came with us on our ocean trip (which is what he named it, since we don't have a road or a car, just a big boat) and now I get to share a room and a bed with him for the next three nights!

Well, with him and James. When Mum and Dad rented the boat, they were only planning on the three of us kids and Levana, so they booking a Wizarding yacht with three bedrooms, one with a queen bed and two with two twin beds. So Lily and her friend and Levana are sharing one room and James, Scorpius and I are in the other one.

And I know James is going to refuse to share a bed. So in a few minutes, I am going to be cuddled up next to Scorpius Malfoy.

If that doesn't make this a perfect day, I don't know what would.

**Friday, July 21, 2023**

Today sucked.

Not completely, but a lot of it sucked. And not in the good way.

I wonder if Scorpius would mind if I sucked him off.

I'm a little bit horny right now. Unfortunately, I didn't get to sleep with Scorpius last night. Dad popped into our room just as we were getting ready for bed and transfigured a spare blanket into a mattress. So I didn't share a bed with him. Instead I slept on a lumpy bed on the floor that transfigured itself back into a blanket in the middle of the night. Essentially I slept on the floor, which means my whole body aches. I knew I should have asked Mum to do the transfiguration instead; hers hold up much longer than Dad's do.

But! This morning, when I woke up, everyone else was still asleep. So I got to ogle Scorpius for a while.

He's so hot. And he looks amazing when he wakes up with sleep tousled hair. Not to mention how sexy it is when he stretches in front of me and I can see his muscles ripple under his skin. And then we went and took our showers and I may have possibly barged into the bathroom with an "urgent" need to pee just as he was getting dressed. Which gave me a view of his morning wood. Which made me too hard to pee. Which make Scorpius stare at me. Which made both of us blush. Which made me back out of the bathroom to go wank in the cupboard because it was the only room in the house that didn't have anyone in it.

All in all, it was an embarrassing, but nice (very, very nice) experience.

Things went downhill from there. Lily got mad again when Mum and Dad informed us that everyone would be moving around the various islands together. She said she hated being treated like a baby and James laughed at her and said she was the baby. So she waited until Mum turned her back and then she called James a bastard.

He glared at her and asked, "Merlin, how did you get to be such a bitch?"

And she just smirked and said, "That's that whole nature versus nurture question, isn't it? Was I born a cute, vindictive, little bitch or... did society make me that way? I go back and forth on that..."

Of course Mum caught her cussing and hollered at her for it, which made James happy and put Lily into bitch-mode for the rest of the day.

For example, when we got to one of the islands, there was a landmark tree that wizards have been carving their names into for decades. Most of the lower trunk is full of names now, so Scorpius and I just put our initials on the tree. I put AS, and then P right below it, so he wrote his name next to mine in the same fashion, only he wouldn't write his middle initial. (Apparently he thinks I would laugh at his middle name, but with a name like Albus Severus, who I am to laugh?)

Lily looked at our names though and said, "Ass." Scorpius thought she was talking about his refusal to write down his middle name, so he got angry at her and stomped off. Lily just laughed and told me that it made sense that a pair of dweebs like us would have "ASS" for our combined initials.

I flicked her off then and followed after Scorpius, watching _his_ ass as he walked away. It was hot.

Scorpius spent the rest of the day upset and Mum and Lily kept fighting. Plus, I think Lily's friend was trying to flirt with me. She's only fourteen and looks like a ten year old, so the thought of flirting with her really grosses me out. Ick.

And now it's time for bed and Mum already transformed the blanket for me again. Which means that I won't be sharing a bed with Scorpius _again_.

Today has been sucky. And not in a good way.

**Saturday, July 22, 2023**

We went to a water park today. It's apparently some kind of muggle playground. This was a wizarding version thought. It was really cool. There were all of these fun slides to go down and a HUGE pool to swim in. Then there was another pool that made really big waves, a pool to dive into, a long flowing river thing and a salt water pool you could snorkel in full of all kinds of fish and these awesome baby sharks.

Mum and Dad didn't want to go to the water park. They wanted to have some more quality family time. Blech. Luckily Lily and her friend both had a fit when they saw a floating billboard ad for it this morning and Dad got tired of listening to them whine and gave in.

The best part of going to the water park was that it was all self contained, so Mum and Dad didn't have to worry about us wandering off where we shouldn't be. So they let us wander around on our own while they acted all lovey-dovey on the couple rides. James and Levana disappeared immediately. I think they went off to some bathroom somewhere to have sex. Ick. Lily and her friend (Marsha? Marcia? Maria?) tried to follow Scorpius and me around, but we ditched them and headed off on our own.

It was so much fun. We went on a ton of rides and swam in all of the pools. The best part was Scorpius didn't wear a shirt all day long. So I got to stare at his chest and arms and stomach. Have I mentioned how much I love his muscles? I love his muscles.

Scorpius seemed to have a lot of fun too. We spent the time when we were waiting in line talking and we have a lot in common. We never ran out of things to discuss. He didn't seem to mind when I touched him either. So I touched him a lot, just a hand on his shoulder or a play punch to the gut. And he touched me too, less than I touched him, but he still poked me in the sides a couple times and nudged me once. So I'm hopeful that he maybe likes me a little bit.

Later…

Scorpius came over just a second ago and told me that I could sleep with him tonight. Not like _that_ of course. But he said he feels bad that my bed keeps turning into a blanket in the middle of the night. (It did it again last night.) So we can share the bed.

Is it wrong that this makes me happier than spending all day at a water park?

**Sunday, July 23, 2023**

Mum and Dad did this whole family thing today. They dropped Scorpius and Levana and Lily's friend off at the resort and then took us to a nearby island to have a "family togetherness day."

It actually wasn't that bad. We did a lot of things we haven't done in years. We had a picnic on the beach. Then we looked for sea shells and built a sand castle. Dad pulled out some Whiz-Bang Sparklers as the sun went down, real ones instead of the safety Glitter Sparklers we had as kids. We lit a bonfire and roasted marshmallows and picked out constellations in the sky.

Lily wasn't a brat and James was nice for a change. I really had fun. I can't remember the last time all of us just spent time together like that. It was probably way back before James started Hogwarts. It kind of made me sad though because this is probably going to be the last time we are all together. Now that James is done with school, he's going to be moving out. I'm done with school this year too. So we'll be gone soon and it will just be Lily for a couple of years before Mum and Dad are all alone.

I'm excited to be growing up, but so much change is scary.

**Monday, July 24, 2023**

Scorpius is avoiding me. I've spent all day trying to find him, but he's nowhere to be found! I checked in the teen area and down at the beach. I looked in the pool. I stuck my head in all of the restaurants. I peeked in the sauna. I went and bothered his parents up in their room. They said he was down in the gym, so I went there. I even looked in the salon! And I can't find him anywhere.

I miss him. Isn't that pathetic? He's only been out of my sight for a day and I already miss him.

I just thought of something. Maybe he isn't avoiding me. Maybe he's just hanging out with someone else.

Like Dick-head.

I hope he isn't hanging out with Dick-head. I was hoping he could get over him on the ocean trip. Scorpius never once talked about him. I thought he had forgotten about him. Maybe he was just pining away for the jerk though.

How can I be jealous when I don't have any idea if that's even the truth? Why am I so jealous? I never get this jealous over the girls I date. What make Scorpius different?

**Tuesday, July 25, 2023**

I was jealous over nothing. Scorpius was hanging about in the teen area all day and thought I was avoiding him. Turns out I missed him by ten minutes when I left in the morning and then I never went back to check again. We bumped into each other at breakfast this morning though and figured everything out.

We planned on meeting by the pool and going swimming too (Mum and Dad have finally agreed to let me wander about the place on my own, so I don't have to stay with the teen group), but that didn't work out because it started raining. We headed back to my room then to talk.

I tried to read the lines and figure out what Scorpius was really saying. I couldn't decide what it was though. When I looked into his eyes, the simple explanation I thought I had discovered Disapparated. I tried to ask him to tell me something I didn't already know about him and he said everything he could think of was too dreary and dreadful like the weather.

I told him to "bring on the rain" and he just laughed and said it was more like "bring on the pain." But I sat and listened. I had to; I couldn't move a muscle when he started talking about himself and letting me in on his feelings. It was like I was struck with lightning. His words echoed my feeling about life exactly. Even when he started thundering about how much he hates the paparazzi, I listened. I felt like our emotions were so close in that moment that I could feel them in my veins. I think his voice will be what I focus on in my memories of the summer, like my own personal soundtrack.

When he started talking about how he felt when he realized Dick-head didn't love him it was like I could feel his pain in my own chest. And I realized it was because I was in pain myself.

I realized I was in love and Scorpius didn't love me back.

I needed to step outside onto the balcony then, just to breath. And also to hide the tears I started to cry. They blended in with the rain and Scorpius was none the wiser when he came out to join me. He looked miserable then, his memories of Dick-head depressing him again. So I held his hand with mine and I told him that he was unlike any one else. And we must have spent an hour like that, just holding hands and standing in the pouring rain. I realized that while my love hurts, I don't want to ever love another man or woman. What I'm feeling inside, I don't want to ever lose. And I never want to lose Scorpius.

**Wednesday, July 26, 2023**

Scorpius and I spent a lazy day at the beach today. It could have been boring, but now that I know I love him, every moment I spend with him feels more precious than the last. It's like I'm walking on sunshine, and it feels so good. I thought last night that maybe I loved him, but now I know it's true. Every glance he gives me makes me tingle and every touch makes me burn. I feel alive. I feel in love, like I'm wrapped up in this really real love.

I'm just afraid that I'll have to say good bye to him at the station in September. Once summer vacation is over, we'll end up back at Hogwarts, back in our normal routine and he'll say bye-bye, so long, farewell. There's danger in the summer moon above, danger that I'll lose my heart to a summer love who'll dump me come September. Then I'll be left alone.

I don't want to spend my whole life waiting for him. And I don't want him for just a day or a weekend, but I'm counting the days and hours and the minutes I spend with him. I can't stand the idea of giving up this time, but I don't want to fall in love just to lose him once the summer's through.

It's like I'm standing on the edge of the cliff and the tiniest push could send me over the edge. And at this point, I'm not sure I'd really mind the fall. It's just the crash at the bottom that scares me.


	5. Week 5

**Thursday, July 27, 2023**

We skipped out on the teen dance class again. Instead we wandered around the resort. We stopped at the pool first and watched all the little runts in the wading pool run around screaming "tag!" at the top of their lungs. Then as we were walking by the pool I had the bright idea to tag Scorpius. So I said, "You're the one!" and tagged him with a shove… and he fell into the pool at my push.

He glared at me from the water, hair soaking wet and dripping down his face. I laughed so hard my face turned red. He climbed out then and chased me off into a nearby field. He tagged me and I tripped and fell into a sea of grass. We both giggled when I got a yellow buttercup up my nose, and Scorpius told me it was one thing to like butter and another thing to sniff it. He was so serious too. I fell in love with him just a little bit more because of that stupid joke. And because when he his dried after his fall into the pool, it turned into a big, bushy blonde mess that reminded me of my Aunt Hermione's hair. Who would have guessed a Malfoy could get frizz?

When we finally got over our impromptu game of tag, Scorpius led me to the food court in the resort. It was set up to look like a little boardwalk with each store front housing a different kind of food. I ate barbeque and Scorpius had something French and unpronounceable. We both drank virgin pina coladas, though we tried to get alcoholic ones. Unfortunately, the stupid American drinking laws apply here on the island and they won't let you drink till you're twenty-one. Which we very obviously aren't. Totally stupid. We each also bought a huge bag of candy floss and I think I'm still on a bit of a sugar high.

After lunch we wandered out to the beach. We played in the ocean waves for a while before Scorpius got the idea that we should go surfing in his head. So he wandered over to some guys on the shore who were waxing their surfboards and asked them if they'd give us lessons. A guy in a baggy, tie-dye bathing suit agreed and tossed off his sandals to follow Scorpius down to the water. I was jealous watching Scorpius pay so much attention to another guy, but it was funny to watch him struggle to stay on the board. I watched from the nice, safe shore as he figured out how to surf.

When he managed to stay on the board and ride a wave all the way to the shore, he gave me the happiest smile. My heart flipped over in my chest. I love his smile...

**Friday, July 28, 2023**

I punched Dick-head in the nose today. It was very satisfying. He was irritating Scorpius when I met up with him on the beach today. I could tell Scorpius was upset, so I walked up to him and decked him. Mum and Dad sent me up to the room and took away all of my privileges when they found out, but it was so worth it. If I see that

**Saturday, July 29, 2023**

Arg. Mum walked into the room last night and saw me writing in here. She decided it was entertainment, which I was not allowed to have, so she snatched it. Thankfully she simply locked it up in the safe and didn't read it. I don't know what I would have done if she knew everything I wrote in here. But when I came back from Disney World today, she gave it back to me and just said to behave so she wouldn't have to do it again.

I was actually amazed that my parents let me go to the muggle theme park. Scorpius must have sweet talked them into it. They adore him and have ever since he came on the "ocean trip" with us. He totally sucked up to them, but it was kind of funny to watch. It was so obvious, and they fell for it anyway. He showed up at the room this morning this and said he had already discussed it with my parents and we were going to Walt Disney World.

Mr. Malfoy accompanied us over to the theme park, and gave us a stern lecture on how to behave. He also placed a super-strength tracking charm on us, even though my dad had already spelled us with an Auror-issue track. And then he left us there, alone. I don't know how Scorpius did it, but he somehow talked all of the parents into letting us wander around on our own. I love that boy.

Muggles and their machines can be fun. We rode on things called roller coasters, one of which was fashioned to look like a wild west kind of thing and one which flew through the dark. It was supposed to look like we were flying in space, but you could see the tracks even in the dark and all the little stars looked weird. I was too afraid we would smack our heads into one of the tracks, which were way too close together, to have any fun.

Then Scorpius dragged me on a ride called Splash Mountain. I've never been so frightened in my life. They put you in this log with seats that floats like a boat and send you through this happy little story world with singing animals. Then the main character, a little rabbit, gets caught and almost eaten by a bear and a fox. He pleads with them not to eat him but to throw him in the briar patch instead. So all of the sudden the boat goes uphill, which is entirely against the laws of nature. And the next thing I know this creepy vulture is talking to us and Scorpius is laughing and I'm falling down a huge hill into a big prickly thorn bush. Obviously it was all a trick of muggle machinery because I'm still alive, but it was still the freakiest thing on earth. I'd rather face a boggart than that again.

I wonder if that would be my boggart now.

…how would a boggart even look like a huge muggle ride?

Never mind, it doesn't matter. Other than that, we had a lot of fun. There was a ride that had giant teacups you could ride in, and I had the best time riding that one because you could make the teacups spin really fast. I spun us around so fast that Scorpius got dizzy and threw up in the bushes. I felt kind of bad watching him, but it was funny once he got over it. Then we ate lunch in a restaurant with a singing alien that looked like a giant Nargle. After that we went on a bunch of kiddie rides, like a merry-go-round and a some flying carpets. We also went on a "jungle cruise" which was a boat ride past a bunch of fake animals. The muggles thought it was awesome, but it seemed stupid to me.

The Pirates of the Caribbean ride was cool, even if all the people in it were machines. What's with muggles and machines? I think they are addicted to them. We stopped at the shop outside of the pirates ride and I bought this hilarious dreadlock wig full of beads and things. Apparently it was modelled after some muggle movie star. Whatever. All I know is that it made Scorpius laugh his head off, so I wore it for the rest of the day.

Then we saw this parade of people in costumes go by. People were standing on either side of the road trying to watch it, all squished in together to the point where they could hardly breathe. We didn't stay to watch the parade because it was simply too stupid. Muggle costumes are so dweeby. It's sad that they can't transfigure themselves because that would have made the parade more fun. Oh, well.

While everyone else was watching the parade, we rode a tonne of rides in a place called Fantasyland. If I ever hear the phrase "It's a small world after all!" again, it will be too soon. After that we grabbed dinner at a place called the Crystal Palace that looked like Greenhouse Four at Hogwarts. There were more people in costumes wandering around as we ate and it was really weird to have people dressed like piglets and tigers come up and try to hug you. Muggles have no sense of personal space. The food was an all you can eat buffet though and it was really good. They had a soup made out of strawberries. Seriously, how can you make soup out of strawberries and not serve pumpkin juice? Muggles are weird.

After that we watched a comedy show by an alien, though this one looked like a One-Eyed Raster Toad, an animal Aunt Luna discovered with her husband last year. Then we went on a ride where a funny little creature that looked like a cross between a niffler and dog and something blue escaped into the audience and belched chili dog breath into everyone's face. What's with muggles and their fascination with colourful aliens? Don't they know that each inhabited planet in our universe is filled with beings that look like us? Wizards made contact with alien wizards centuries ago. Muggles are so behind the times.

Their fireworks show was amazing though. I think that they must have used Whiz-Bang fireworks from Uncle George and Uncle Ron's shop because there is no way a muggle could make something so gorgeous. It was kind of dorky, but I actually spent as much time watching Scorpius as I did watching the fireworks. He was so captivated by the lights. His awe was fun to see. I saw all these couples around us holding hands and I wanted to grab his so badly, but I didn't. I still don't think he's over Dickhead and I don't want to risk losing him as a friend by being his rebound boyfriend.

After that Mr. Malfoy showed up and escorted us back to the resort. So I came back to the room and told everyone how amazing Disney World was until James threw a pillow at my head. Twat.

One thing I don't understand though: they called the part of Disney World we were in the Magic Kingdom. I didn't see any magic being preformed anywhere though. Why do muggles give their places such stupid names?

**Sunday, July 30, 2023**

I found out how Scorpius got permission for us to go to Disney alone yesterday. He promised we would spend all day today and tomorrow with our families. I never want to hear another of Grandma Molly's stories about when she was my age again. And Grandpa Arthur drove me crazy with questions about Disney.

Why is my family so annoying?

**Monday, July 31, 2023**

Uncle George used me to test a new line of Tropical Tricks he's been developing on the trip.

I think I'm dying.

**Tuesday, August 1, 2023**

I spent today with Malfoy. He apologized for not telling me what the price for our day of freedom would be, but I told him it was fine. I'd spend a whole week with my family just so I could spend a day with him. I did NOT tell him that part though. That'd be synonymous with coming out and saying, "Baby, you're all that I want and everything I need. Let's make sweet love under the stars." There's lots that I could say, but that is not one of those things.

It was a calm day. For young, wild, free teenagers, we are pretty boring. We played in the pool for a while and then checked out the ice cream stand nearby. I think we ate four or five ice creams. Scorpius kept making me go back for more. Apparently he thought the eighty-year-old woman running the stand was checking him out, so while he wanted ice cream, he didn't want to talk to her. I find it hard to believe she was really interested in him, but I ran interference anyway.

We saw Dickhead flirting with another guy and Scorpius got a little down, so I told him I'll always stand by him, unlike Dickhead, and it seemed to bring him back up. I don't know how he hasn't realized I'm so in love with him. I'm too transparent.

But we had a nice lazy day hanging about and recovering from our families, and I liked it. Just being with him makes me feel so happy. It's like love is all I needed to make me feel like I'm in heaven. I wonder why more people don't fall in love. It's quite nice.

**Wednesday, August 2, 2023**

Look up "idiot" in the dictionary. Do you know what you'll find? A picture of me.

Well, no, but you will find the definition of the word idiot which is what I fucking am.

I kissed Scorpius. Which wouldn't be stupid in and of itself except for the fact that I kissed him in front of both of our families.

See, what happened was, Mum and Dad decided that the family should try to get along with the Malfoy's. So they invited them to eat dinner with the whole Weasley-Potter clan tonight. Wouldn't you know Rose decided that she was going to attack Scorpius?

I pulled her aside and told her that he was gay and she refused to listen to me. She claimed she could turn any man straight, which only turned my stomach. Then she flounced over to him and started clinging to him and flirting with him. And then Hugo and Lily started in on him, playing around with him and making jokes. It made me jealous. Scorpius was mine. And I probably could have handled it, if Louis, Aunt's Fleur's youngest child who's two years older than me, hadn't decided she wanted to flirt with him too. Scorpius would never have fallen for Rose, but I knew he wouldn't be able to withstand the charms of a gay Veela.

So I walked over to him, shoved Rose off his arm and kissed him. With tongue. In front of two Malfoy's, twenty Weasley's, a couple of Lupin's, and my family's various boyfriends and girlfriends. And four Potter's.

When I pulled away, Scorpius was white as a stone. He backed away from me and ran off as if there was a Dementor after him. His parents followed, after giving me dirty looks, and then the room exploded.

Rose was the first person to question me, shouting, "What the hell, Al? Are you gay?"

I tried to explain, but all I got out was, "Me? No, I'm not gay…"

James was spluttering then and stuttered out, "You're not?"

And Lily goes, "But you just kissed him!"

Dad spoke up then, and the whole room went dead silent. "Okay. Al is gay. Possibly. When he is ready to discuss it, he will. Until then, let's sit down and eat our dinner in peace."

Surprisingly, everyone listened and Dad excused me from dinner and I came back up to the room to hide. I'm never leaving the room again. Ever. My family knows I like boys and I have no clue what they think about that. I also have no idea what Scorpius thinks of me.

He probably hates me.

I hate having a Weasley-Potter temper.


	6. Interlude

This is an interlude of 17 drabbles from Scorpius's POV. It is not an integral part of the story, just a cute little switch up for fun!

* * *

******Getting to Walt Disney World**

"No cursing."

"Avoid talking to Muggles as much as possible."

"Follow the rules."

"Act like a Malfoy should."

Scorpius liked Al, really. He was a good friend. Scorpius appreciated that. He also appreciated that Al had decked Dickhead. (He rather liked Al's nickname for his "ex-boyfriend" too.)

However, if he had to listen to one more stupid rule to gain permission for the two of them to go to the Magic Kingdom, he was going to give up and leave Al to his grounding.

Then Al squeezed his hand when their fathers weren't looking.

A few more rules wouldn't hurt...

"No..."

Much.

******Monorail**

Scorpius couldn't understand how someone whose father was a half-blood could be so ignorant of the Muggle world.

"Al, would you sit down?"

"But, I'm flying! In a train! While standing up! This is even better than Grandpa's flying car!

"Albus Severus Potter! Sit down!" Scorpius hissed at him. Their compartment was empty except for a young couple and a baby, but all three of the Muggles were eyeing Al like he was suicidal. It probably didn't help that Al was trying to open the doors.

"But Scorpius, I'm just trying to see where they put the levitation charms..."

******Space Mountain**

"The stars were so fake, and you could see the tracks, and I thought we were going to hit them, and it was so dark and scary..."

Scorpius sighed and resisted the urge to peel Al off his arm. Instead, he patted the boy on the back gently. "It will be alright I promise. We'll go ride something else now, okay?"

"But we almost died! And I almost came out of the seat, and it was horrible and scary, and they should never have built this ride and..."

Scorpius rolled his eyes. Was Al really supposed to be a Gryffindor?

******Big Thunder Mountain Railroad**

"Ride 'em cowboy! This town ain't big enough for the two of us!"

Apparently, Al had no knowledge of Muggle American history. He had seen the "runaway" train and decided it was the Wild West. Of course, he wanted to act like a cowboy.

"Yeehaw!"

Scorpius felt like they were being laughed at. Suddenly, Al grabbed his hand and started waving it in the air.

"Come on, Scorpius! Say YEEHAW!"

The teenage girls in front of them giggled. Scorpius slouched down in his seat and wished the mine would just collapse and save him from the embarrassment.

******Splash Mountain**

Scorpius had never seen a Gryffindor cry before. It was a rather pathetic sight.

"Al, come on, calm down."

The boy's sobs continued.

"Come on, it's all over now. You are perfectly fine."

Bystanders were starting to stare. Scorpius flushed darkly.

"Albus! CALM DOWN."

Yelling proved to be counterintuitive and the tears only increased.

"If you stop crying, I'll buy you an ice cream."

That stopped the sobs.

"Really?" Al sniffled pitifully.

Scorpius rolled his eyes and nodded.

Al grinned broadly. "Yippee! Wait, no, YEEHAW!"

Oh, Merlin. Why hadn't that drop into a pile of thorns been real? And deadly?

******Mad Tea Party**

Scorpius really regretted that ice cream. Really regretted it.

He held onto his stomach as he tossed up his snack into the bushes.

Al nervously rubbed his back. "I'm sorry. I thought you were being funny. I didn't realize you were getting sick."

Scorpius glared at him. "If you ever do something like that to me again, I will rip off your dick."

Al's eyes widened and he made a small "eep!" sound that made Scorpius laugh. His laughter made him throw up again.

"Your bits too!"

Al clutched at his crotch. "I'm sorry, Scorpius! I'll never spin you again!"

******Lunch – Cosmic Ray's Starlight Cafe**

Once Scorpius got over his vomiting fit, Al decided he wanted an early lunch. The thought of food made Scorpius's stomach rebel, but he sat and watched Al eat.

It was actually pleasant. Scorpius sipped on a Muggle soda while they discussed Dickhead, family, and sexuality.

Scorpius was surprised to learn that Al supported homosexuality. He figured Al didn't mind it, since he seemed to like Scorpius, but Al really understood Scorpius's feelings.

It made Scorpius's heart flutter, but he ignored it. Crushing on your straight best mate was _not_ the best way to get over a broken heart.

******Cinderella's Golden Carousel**

Scorpius got a kick out of watching Al squirm. It took ten minutes for them to reach the front of the line for the carousel, and Al's eyes flickered between Scorpius and the ride the whole time.

"Are you sure you want to go on this ride?"

"I'm positive."

"If you get sick, it won't be my fault, right?"

Scorpius remained quiet.

"Right?!"

Scorpius laughed. "Relax, I was teasing. I wouldn't rip your dick off."

_It's far too nice to do that, at least from what I've seen._

Scorpius sighed and continued to remind himself that best mates were off-limits.

******The Magic Carpets of Aladdin**

Cute boys were not off-limits though. When Al decided they _had_ to ride the flying carpets, even though they weren't real, they ended up in line behind a bunch of American teenagers.

Most were couples, but one brown-haired bloke was all on his own. Scorpius made small talk with him for a while as they waited for the line to move. Al stood next to them and glared for some reason.

"Scorp, do you wanna ride with me?"

"He's with _me_ and his name is _Scorpius_."

Scorpius couldn't help but be confused when Al literally dragged him away. Why was he upset?

******Jungle Cruise**

Al was much happier when they boarded the jungle boat ride. This meant that Al was in the proper state of mind to ask questions.

"Do they know that the animals aren't real?" Al asked loudly.

"The animals aren't real?" asked one girl and the other children turned to their parents.

The adults tried to explain gently, but when the boat docked back at the boarding station, three little ones were crying.

Scorpius cringed at the glares some of the mothers were sending them. "Come on, let's get out of here. I'm a little scared."

"But they aren't real!"

******The Pirates of the Caribbean**

Al and Scorpius stumbled off the ride pretending to be drunk. "Yo-ho, yo-ho, a pirate's life for me!" they sang.

Scorpius ignored other's disapproving looks for once and played along as Al picked up a sword in the gift shop and pretended to chop off his head.

"I be Nearly Headless Nick!" Scorpius crowed, tilted his head to the side and grabbed a sword too.

Al pulled on a wig of beaded dreadlocks. Scorpius burst out laughing and dropped the sword. Al the pirate had his wig on backwards... and wore it that way for the rest of the night.

******It's A Small World**

"... a world of tears. It's a world of hopes. It's a world of fears. There's so much that we share, that it's time we're aware..."

"It's a bloody small world after all! We get it!"

Scorpius thought the ride was repetitive, but it hadn't bothered him much. Al hated it. So of course, Scorpius had to sing the song as they headed to dinner.

"Hush! I want to sing. There is just one moon and one golden sun, and a smile means friendship to everyone. Though the mountains divide and the oceans are wide, it's a small, small—"

"ARG!"

******Dinner – Crystal Palace**

They skipped the parade that afternoon. After all, Hogwarts had centaurs and giants, why would they care about a guy in a mouse costume?

Plus, it was creepy how touchy-feely the characters were. Scorpius was entirely freaked out by how often they touched him at dinner. A pig patted him on the shoulder, a tiger ruffled his hair and a bear gave him a hug. By the time the donkey came around, Scorpius was over it.

"Um... I have to get more food!"

Even Al's eyes pleading for help could not make him go back to that table.

******Laugh Floor & Stitch's Great Escape**

Muggles did have odd ideas about aliens. Why would an alien be bright green or have spikes? Scorpius had never actually met one, but he had seen pictures of them in his history textbooks. They looked a lot like humans.

Though as far as Scorpius knew, they didn't eat chilli dogs. He waved his hand in front of his face and wrinkled his nose in disgust. He could hear Al laughing next to him. Why did he have to find a best friend with such plebeian ideas of humour?

Well, all right. It was funny when the alien spit on Al.

******Spectromagic Parade**

Scorpius had never seen anything as cool as an entire street filled with things covered in lights. There were tonnes of Muggles in their silly costumes covered with little lights and huge parade floats covered in twinkling lights. Even the audience was wearing jewellery that lit up.

Some of the floats made him laugh, like the one with human sized fairies and the one with the mermaid. Hadn't Muggles ever seen a magical creature? But Scorpius loved the attention to detail and the amazing things that Muggles could do with their electricity and imaginations.

And who wouldn't love sparkly things?

******Disney Wishes Fireworks**

Scorpius's real reason for coming to Disney was their fireworks display. There had been an article in the Daily Prophet a few years back about the Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes contracting with various Muggle companies to create fireworks. Scorpius had wanted to see a display ever since.

He wasn't disappointed either. Fireworks of every colour lit the sky for a good twenty minutes. They flew up in time to the music, which played songs about wishes coming true.

Scorpius wished for a second that he was sharing the view with someone special. Then he looked over at Al and realized he was.

******Ferryboat**

The day had been fun, if exhausting. The boys followed the droves of other tourists out of the park and made their way to the ferryboat. (Scorpius wasn't going to tempt Al with the monorail again.)

"Hey, Scorpius, why do they call this the Magic Kingdom? I didn't see anything magical today."

Scorpius thought about everything they had seen and done and all the things he had learned and felt in that one day. He thought about how much closer he felt to Al.

"I think it has a magic we've never seen before. A magic all it's own."


	7. Week 6

**Thursday, August 3, 2023**

Lily might actually be more than a brat after all. She woke me up this morning (after I cried myself to sleep) by jumping on top of me and shouting, "Do you have a plan?"

I said, "A plan? Do I look like someone with a plan?" Well, once I had woken up enough to figure out what the hell she was talking about, I said that.

And she laughed! She had the audacity to wake me up and ask me a stupid question and then laugh in my face.

So I pushed her onto the floor and tried to go back to sleep. She wouldn't let me though. Instead she announced she had a plan.

"You are going to go after Scorpius. First though, we need to get you dressed!"

It is wrong on so many levels for your little sister to attempt to strip you down and push you into the shower. I had to fight her to keep my pants on and then she shoved me into the shower clothed and turned on the water. It was freezing! So she's still a brat, even if she's a useful one.

After I took a quick shower and dressed myself in the clothing she left on the toilet for me (a too tight t-shirt and too tight jeans), Lily attached herself to me. She then proceeded to rumple up my hair and clothes. James laughed at me from across the room.

"We want you to look desperate and distraught, as if the thought of losing Scorpius has driven you to the edge of madness."

I could have looked desperate and distraught without the shower and weird clothes, thank you very much. I WAS desperate and distraught after all. But she forced me to undergo this "make-under."

"I look like a total mess, " I said when she finished it.

"Well, it matches your life, right?"

I wasn't sure whether to be offended or agree. I settled on, "I guess my life _is_ a bit of a mess."

She patted me on the shoulder and smiled at me and my faux bed-head in the mirror. "At least you're pretty."

Ruffled hair and wrinkled clothing is pretty? But James smirked and said, "Yeah, well, pretty don't pay the rent, and it certainly won't get you Scorpius, unless you know how to act around him."

Lily glared at him. "What would you know? Levana asked you out and tells you what to do and when. You definitely can't claim to wear the trousers in your relationship."

That of course sparked a fight between them and let me slink off into the resort without them. Lily was ticked when she caught up to me later, but I was not going to attempt to talk to Scorpius with my sister on my heels.

And then I chickened out. I ran.

I ran as if running fast enough would take me away from the pain of seeing Scorpius's face in my mind, the look of betrayal he had worn after I kissed him last night. I ran until my sides began to cramp in pain and my breath tore at my throat. I ran under the sun until I began to sweat and could feel my skin blistering into a sunburn.

The sun felt like an anvil beating down on my back, scorching me. The light was bright on the white sand, and it blinded me. My body felt like it was disintegrating in the heat.

I ran because I wanted to leave all the pain and sadness behind, but I couldn't. All I could feel was my love for Scorpius driving me farther away from the memories of him.

When I finally collapsed on the beach I spent half an hour gasping for breath. My arms and face were pink with sunburn. The sweat was dripping off me and my clothing was soaked, both from my perspiration and the rising tide. But I hadn't been able to escape Scorpius. He was there, in my mind, his eyes full of pain.

I'll never be able to forgive myself for hurting him.

I stayed there on the deserted beach for hours and finally trudged back up to the resort at dinner time. Mum and Dad weren't happy about my disappearing act, but they didn't ground me. I think they figured I was punishing myself enough. They just sent me up to the room and told me to put on some burn-crème.

So I did, and now I'm venting in here as Lily rants at me for running away. I should have just let her do her plan. It's not like running away solved anything. If anything, I'm more miserable now than I was before.

**Friday, August 4, 2023**

I saw Scorpius today because Rose forced me to go to the teen dance with her. He glared at me like I was evil and walked over to Dickhead. To Dickhead! His ex-whatever-the-hell-he-is was a better option than me. Dickhead is most definitely evil. He just smirked at me and then turned to Scorpius and proceeded to flirt with him as if nothing had changed.

Needless to say, I'd really like to hurt him. Dickhead, I mean. I'd like to hold his head underwater until he almost drowns or lock him up in a penitentiary and throw away the key. I'd love to do something really heinous to him.

And Scorpius… I love him so badly, and he just kept treating me like trash. He pulled Dickhead out on the floor and danced with him, grinding up against him scandalously. It got to the point where they were basically humping to the rhythm. Scorpius kept looking over at me and then ignoring me in favour of Dickhead. I don't know what he was trying to tell me. I don't know what I wanted to tell him in return. Whatever I said through my body language must not have been what he wanted to hear because he just kept hanging all over Dickhead.

I just sat in the corner and watched for a couple of dances, and then I left. I don't know why Scorpius was willing to go back to Dickhead, but I'm not willing to let him stay with that loser. Even if he doesn't want me, I love him too much to let him hurt himself.

**Saturday, August 5, 2023**

I'm really not sure what to do. I said last night that I wouldn't let Scorpius get back together with Dickhead, but I don't know how to stop it.

Lily informed me that I should march up to Scorpius and kiss him. That didn't work so well the last time I did it, so I'm inclined to not want to try it again.

James's suggestion was to forget about him and go flirt with a hot girl. Levana didn't appreciate that idea much--she snapped at towel against James crotch and he was only wearing a speedo. I don't think I've ever heard my brother whimper so pitifully before.

Rose told me she would be able to make Scorpius dump Dickhead. I told her she wouldn't be able to entice him if she stripped naked, put on a candy bikini, and gave him a lap dance. She then explained to me that whipped cream bikinis work better than candy ones and letting Scorpius eat strawberries off of her stomach would be far sexier than a lap dance. Uncle Ron happened to hear that sentence from across the room.

She's now grounded for the rest of the trip. I can't say I'm sorry about that. It serves her right for thinking she could turn Scorpius straight with food sex.

I still don't know how to make Scorpius trust me though. Somehow I don't think Hugo's idea of wrestling him in a giant vat of pudding will do much to help. (I wonder about Hugo sometimes…)

**Sunday, August 6, 2023**

I wanted to go chase Scorpius down today, but Mum and Dad declared it another family day. Of course, they made me go along.

Everyone treated me like I was diseased. Honestly, just because I kissed a boy doesn't mean I'm insane or sick.

I ended up watching Teddy and Victoire's baby girl. It was kind of fun. She's almost three now, and we built sandcastles and ran through some sprinklers. Then I taught her how to nick food without the parents seeing. All in all, it was very entertaining. Especially when Rose tried to sneak away and Uncle Ron caught her. Maybe I'm just vindictive, but it made me happy to see her fume. Stupid bint thinking she could have Scorpius. He's mine.

**Monday, August 7, 2023**

I was re-reading yesterday's entry this morning as the sun shone softly through the window, and I realized exactly what I have to do to save Scorpius. I just have to make him mine.

If he's dating me, he won't have time to think about Dickhead.

It'll take time, I know, but in a little while he'll be mine. I'm going to pull out every trick in the book, every one that I can find. I'll remind him how I consoled him after Dickhead dumped him and how we sat on the beach till sunset talking. I show him that Dickhead doesn't have anything on me.

Hopefully he'll decide he wants to be mine.

**Tuesday, August 8, 2023**

Being pushy is probably not the best way to make a Malfoy like you. I walked up to Scorpius and Dickhead today and demanded to talk to Scorpius. Scorpius just turned and glared at me, and Dickhead laughed.

I wasn't about to be ignored though, so I grabbed Scorpius's arm and pulled him aside.

He snarled at me and said, "Fuck off, Potter."

"No, just, please, let me explain!" I said, as he turned to walk off. Luckily, he decided to turn back and look at me. I offered him a smile and said, "I'm sorry, Scorpius. I didn't mean to kiss you like that."

He sneered. "I'm not good enough for your kisses? Or did it scare the little straight boy that he was attracted to a queer?"

I tried to make him understand. "No, I did want to kiss you, I just didn't want to kiss you in front of everyone like that. I like you, a lot. And I'm not straight. I'm bisexual."

"Uh-huh. You say you're bisexual now, but when you get back to school and have girls hanging on your every word again, you'll be straight as a pin."

"No, really! I've always liked guys, I've just never met one who was gay."

"So you thought you'd experiment with me? Sorry, but at least Rick didn't pretend to be my friend to get in my pants. I'd rather be with a playboy than a user." He turned and walked away then, and even though I ran after him, he refused to listen.

I don't know what I'm going to do. How can I get him to realize that I really want him because of who he is, and not just because he's gay?

**Wednesday, August 9, 2023**

We're friends again, but that's all. Why did I kiss him? I let my jealousy destroy any chance we had at a relationship. I could have slowly explained to him that I was bisexual. I could have broken it to my family. I could have taken a chance and asked him out. Instead I blew it with that stupid kiss. Now he isn't willing to be anything more than friends.

I tried to talk to him today when I tracked him down on the beach, but he just walked away. I chased him across the sand, all the way to that desolate stretch where I hid on Thursday. Scorpius finally came to a halt and I stopped next to him, both of us gasping for breath. I felt horrible when I saw him rubbing away tears.

"Scorpius, it's not because you are gay. It's because you're you. I like you because of who you are, because you are charming to adults and you snipe at Lily and you love hotdogs and potatoes. I like that you enjoy watching the sunset and riding water slides and surfing even though you fall off the board more often than you stay on."

"But there are a lot of guys like me. I'm just one who happened to fuck guys."

I tried to explain. I tried to tell him why I loved _him_. "None of those guys are you. They don't have blonde hair that fluffs up when it gets wet. They don't have a cool attitude even when they are being dumped. They aren't _you_."

"I can't… I can't trust you. I thought we were friends. I've never been closer to anyone. I considered you my best mate." And that made my heart hurt. I didn't know he felt like that. How could I have been such an idiot? Why did I hurt him?

He tried to leave, but I stopped him. "What if I forget about my feelings? I'll never kiss you again. What if we were just friends?"

"I don't know if I can do that. I don't know if _you_ can do that."

"I'll try to show you that I can be trusted. Please, just give me a chance."

He didn't speak for a moment, and then he said, "I don't think I should trust you, but I miss you too much to say no. Dickhead isn't exactly the most interesting person on earth."

I laughed, and we shared a smile. "Friends?" I asked.

He nodded and we shook hands. I kept myself from trying to hold on to his hand for longer than normal. "Friends."

I'm going to work hard this time not to betray his trust. I don't want to lose him again. After all, friends is better than nothing, right?

Right?


	8. Week 7

**Thursday, August 10, 2023**

I don't think I can handle being friends. I love him way too much.

Today we hung out on the beach with my cousins. Grandma and Grandpa's anniversary is next Tuesday, so they are trying to push family unity. Rose is on probation, so she was excited because it was the first day she's been out of her room in weeks. James didn't care because Levana came along, and Lily and Hugo had a blast playing tricks on everyone.

Scorpius and I had a blast. He's so cool and suave with everyone. He taught Molly and Lucy how to play Frisbee and then he tossed around a beach ball with Roxanne, Fred, and Louis for a while. I wish I could be as friendly as he is. I just don't like people that much though.

I spent the morning sleeping resting in the hammock. Scorpius woke me up at about noon by dumping ice from the cooler on top of me and then running away. It was the rudest awakening ever. I jumped up and ran after him, and I finally caught him at the edge of the water.

He stopped running, I ran into him, and we both toppled into the ocean.

I sat up and looked at him and I swear my heart stopped, just for a little bit. His hair was full of sunshine and was buttercup yellow instead of it's normal white blonde. His eyes were sparkling, and his cheeks were flushed. I wanted to kiss him so badly, but I didn't want to risk losing him again.

Instead, I tickled him. It was mean, I know, especially because he's really ticklish (something I learned when he almost drowned because he fell over from laughing too hard), but I just had to touch him.

Love is too hard to deal with. If I ever manage to fall out of love, I'm never going to fall back into it.

**Friday, August 11, 2023**

Is this how love is supposed to feel? Whenever I'm with him, something inside me starts burning, and I'm filled with the desire to touch him, taste him, own him. It's tearing me apart.

We went to the dance tonight and Dickhead tried to get back into Scorpius's pants, which infuriated me. I refused to let Scorpius dance with him and dragged him out on the dance floor with me. I know we got looks from the other teens (especially my family members who have yet to question my sexuality), but I ignored them. When we started dancing it was a fast paced song, but of course, they had to put on one of those girly slow songs right after it.

I wanted to go sit back down, but Scorpius grabbed my arm and said my name softly. I was stuck. Then Dickhead headed over our way and I knew I couldn't pass up the chance to dance with Scorpius and lose him to that bastard. So I let Scorpius wrap his arms around my waist and then I put my hands on his shoulders, and I felt so dweeby being the girl.

Then Scorpius shot me this gorgeous smile that made me feel like I was burning up inside. Not to mention it gave me a hard-on. He just kept staring at me and smiling and damn but I wanted to kiss him!

I've never felt like this before. It feels like every moment I'm not touching him I'm yearning for his touch. Then when I finally do touch him I start burning up with utter desire for him. I want to kiss him, hold him, fuck him, love him, cuddle him. I just want to make him mine, but I know I can't, and that only makes it worse.

I heard Muggles call these feelings hormones and you can't always handle them. I think they must be onto something because I am really out of control.

**Saturday, August 12, 2023**

This summer is turning me upside down. One minute I'm happily hating Malfoy and dating girls, and the next minute I am in love with Scorpius and feel like my heart's been tied up in shackles and bows.

Today was fun though. We did another family day, this time with all of the adults too, and I had a great time. Scorpius ran around charming all of the adults with his smile. I played with the kids. I love my little cousins, really, but if I have to listen to another ten-year-old screaming that they want an ice cream cone, I might just have to scream back. And include cuss words. (Really, if I said no the first ten times you asked, chances are that I'm going to say no even if you start screaming.)

I really am glad that Scorpius seems to be fitting into my family. I'm a bit jealous that Uncle Percy said he wished I could be more like Scorpius, but really I didn't mind. I'm just glad they seem to have forgotten the kiss and are treating us normally. I think Scorpius is also glad that they like him. He told me the other day that he didn't have many friends, and I'm afraid it's because he's a Malfoy. I've heard a lot of people at school badmouthing him because of his family, and I really feel bad about it.

I am glad to say that I never joined in with insults, but I feel guilty that I never put a stop to them when I heard them.

My family seems to have gotten over his name, except for Uncle Ron. Thankfully, he simply avoids Scorpius as much as possible, and Scorpius avoids him in return.

I'm really not sure why I'm so glad that my family likes him. I'm afraid it's because I keep thinking that Scorpius and I will be friends (or more, if I can get my way!) for a very long time. I don't know if Scorpius wants that though. When we get back to Hogwarts he might just ignore me.

I hating my emotions and thoughts so twisted up. Stupid hormones.

**Sunday, August 13, 2023**

Scorpius and I spent the day picking each other's brains. I knew he was the one for me.

We both hate going to family functions.

We both adore old wizarding bands.

We both sleep with a nightfire because we don't like the dark.

Neither of us likes pumpkin juice.

I also learned that Scorpius can speak a little Russian and that he likes to read classic Muggle literature.

So, yes, I'm in love with a man of culture. Even though I would rather watch him smile than listen to him lecture about Shakespeare. Eh, whatever. The smile would be worth listening to a two-hour lecture in Russian. Well, maybe.

**Monday, August 14, 2023**

I am so glad that I didn't spend today with Scorpius. It was yet another day of "family togetherness."

Gag me with a spoon.

The worst part was that Rose and Lily decided that today was the day to begin discussing Scorpius and me. Scorpius had to spend the day with his parents, thank Merlin.

Lily brought back up her ass thing again. "Where's Scorpius?" she asks. "It takes two of you to be an ass!"

Rose perked up then. "What's this I'm hearing about behinds?"

"Al and Scorpius. If you take the initials from Albus Severus and Scorpius, it makes the word ass."

"Ha! Then they are a rather cheeky pair, aren't they?" I could have killed Rose for that one.

And then Lily nodded and grins. "And we know that Al comes first." I never want to listen to my sister put me and sex in the same sentence ever again.

So Rose says, "And Scorpius is always after Al's tail."

"But you know what? Their relationship is cracked."

I walked away then. I couldn't take listening to it. I'm pretty sure they kept making jokes for the next hour though because they never stopped giggling. If I didn't already like Scorpius, I'd be in love with him now, just because he isn't a girl. I can't get their jokes out of my head!

Though Scorpius's ass is fine.

**Tuesday, August 15, 2023**

What the fuck? What the hell happened? One minute I'm standing there talking to Lily's friend and the next minute Scorpius is kissing me.

What the bloody, fucking hell?!

"Let's be friends," he said. Oh yes, because randomly kissing your friend is completely platonic.

Okay. I'm going to take a deep breath, calm down and try to explain this again.

HE KISSED ME!

I need to breath a bit longer.

I think I'm hyperventilating.

Okay. So the whole thing started when Lily threw another one of her fits and got permission to bring a friend to Grandma and Grandpa's Anniversary party. I'll never complain about Lily's fits anymore because I got to bring Scorpius along. And he kissed me!

Getting back on topic, we were all getting ready to go and Lily was being a brat. James was being his same old narcissistic self and primping in the mirror. He was apparently nervous that the Muggle clothes he had on weren't flattering.

Lily got at snotty with him when she couldn't see herself in the full length mirror because he was in the way, and she snapped, "Look, I'm just curious. How many hours a day do you spend grooming yourself?"

So James glared at her and said, "Some people are not lucky enough to be as naturally adorable as you are."

"Stop it, you're making me blush." Then Lily stuck out her tongue at him. "Bite me."

And James laughs at her. "I'm not biting any part of you." And all this was normal James and Lily, so the rest of us were like, whatever. But then James turned to Levana and said, "But I will bite you!" and he goes over and nibbles on her neck like a vampire and I was so grossed out. Ick. Siblings and romance do not go together.

When we were all finally ready we split up to go collect our friends. I met Scorpius at his room. He looked so hot in a Muggle suit. Gah. I think I was drooling when I saw him.

Then we headed for the ballroom for the party. I was amazed at how many people came. Not only was the whole Weasley family there (and that's a _very_ large number of people,) but a lot of relatives outside the immediate family had shown up. Grandma and Grandpa's friends had also come and a lot of people had brought guests.

Lily brought her friend from the ocean trip (Margie? I dunno…) who came over to Scorpius and me and started flirting with us. Scorpius excused himself, but I couldn't figure out how to escape. After being at the party for only about half an hour and spending twenty-five minutes talking to Mara (?), she reached out and put a hand on my arm and smiled at me.

Scorpius suddenly swooped over and pulled me off into the men's loo without saying anything to anyone. He pushes me up against a wall, looks around for a moment (to see if anyone else was in there I suppose), and then he snogs me!

He released me a moment later and left the bathroom. It took me a second to realize what happened, and then I ran after him. When I got back to the ballroom, he wasn't there.

I don't know why he did it. Was it payback for what I did? I don't think so, because if it was he would have kissed me in front of everyone. Does he like me? I know I shouldn't get my hopes up, but maybe he's gotten used to the idea of me as a romantic interest.

I don't know. I'm not even sure whether I should be happy or upset about the kiss. Was it a good thing or a bad thing or nothing? I'm so confused!

I'm going to sleep. Maybe a couple of confusing dreams will clear my thoughts.

Wednesday, August 16, 2023

"I can't wait to fall in love with you."

That is the stupidest, dweebiest, most romantic, touching sentence in existence. And Scorpius actually said it to me.

I'm over the moon. I hid up in my room today, sulking and being confused, and he came up to talk to me. I let him in the room and he settled on one bed and I settled on the other. The first thing he said was "I knew the day I met you that you'd be the one for me. And then you acted like you didn't care about me at all, and I gave up and I went for Dick."

He was being so open, so casual, just like he always is with everyone. It felt real, so I decided to trust him.

"I was crushed when you ended up with Dickhead."

Scorpius laughed. "And I was crushed when I lost him. But then I turned around and found this amazing guy who said he'd catch me if I fell. You have been kinder to me than anyone I have ever met."

I couldn't help but smile at him. "I've never met anyone I wanted to be that kind to. You are my best friend. None of my other friends have ever been as close to me as you."

"I thought you were my best friend too. And then something bad happened."

"Dickhead? The kiss?" I asked.

"No. I fell in love with my best mate. I couldn't get you out of my brain."

I just gaped at him. What the hell was he saying? He loved me?

"Wouldn't that be a good thing? Especially since I-I like you too?" I chickened out at the last moment and couldn't say I loved him.

"I was so confused right then. My feelings for Dickhead were nothing compared to my feelings for you. Dickhead was someone I wanted to fuck. You were someone I wanted to take to Disney World and dance with and go surfing with. You were, _are_ my best mate, and I thought you were straight. I tried to ignore the attraction, but it was hard."

He took a deep breath and continued. "And then you kissed me. I was so confused. Why did you do it? Was it supposed to be a humiliation? Were you playing a game? Did you actually like me?"

"Why did you go back to Dickhead though? Why didn't you come talk to me?"

Scorpius shrugged and laid back on the bed, looking at the ceiling instead of me. "Dick was safe. I knew he could hurt me, but you I wasn't sure about. Had you meant to hurt me? Was it all a game? Or was it something else? I couldn't face the thought of losing you are a friend, so I thought if I ran away, maybe it would all blow over. Dick never promised me anything but sex. You were a chance at friendship and more. Being hurt by Dick was far less frightening than being hurt by you."

"Scorpius…" I murmured, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know you didn't." Scorpius flung an arm over his eyes. "And I never meant to hurt you. When I found out you liked me, I was so scared it was a trick or an experiment, but I hated the thought of losing you. I thought that if I kept you at a distance you could be friends and I wouldn't get hurt. So I tried it. It wasn't too bad, not really, until I saw you flirting last night and I realized that I could have you if I wanted or I could let someone else take you away from me. All I could think about was showing you that you were mine."

"Then you do like me?" My voice cracked on the 'me,' and I felt pathetic.

Scorpius sat upright. "I love you so much it feels like my heart could break." He was so matter-of-fact about it that it gave me shivers.

I stuttered out, "I… I like you too. A lot. I like you as much as you like me. That word… that's how much I like you."

He laughed at me, but I didn't feel too stupid because he launched himself at me and hugged me.

"Then maybe we can try to work this out?"

I gulped at the serious expression on his face. "This can't be just a summer love. I can't handle that."

He smiled. "Then summer's over for the both of us." His smile widened into a grin. "I can't wait to fall in love with you."

I reached out and grabbed his hand. Squeezing it, I said, "I already lo-love you."

The smile on his face was the biggest, brightest one yet.


	9. Week 8

WARNING: There is a light sex bit on Sunday and Monday. It doesn't go past an M rating. Please take note of this! :)

* * *

**Thursday, August 17, 2023**

Scorpius and I sat down and had a discussion today about how we are going to handle our relationship. We aren't sure how our families will react to us dating, but we agreed that we need to tell them. I keep imagining Dad having a heart attack and Mom casting a Bat-Bogey Hex on everyone. Not to mention what all of my uncles will say.

We then diverged into how we discovered that we liked boys. I told Scorpius something I've never told anyone else before: I walked in on my parents having sex once.

I don't think they realized I was there. I was ten and had an anxiety attack about James going off to Hogwarts, so I snuck into their room for reassurance and saw something no child should ever see. I left then and desperately tried to forget what I had seen.

I couldn't stop thinking about it. The fact that people had sex. That they just had it, like sex was this thing people -- had, like a rash. It was something natural like bare feet.

That was when I realized that I could have sex one day. To a ten year old it was a bit like knowing you could fly a hot air balloon someday. It was abstract, weird, and unimaginable. But when I hit puberty it suddenly became a much more tangible concept.

I could see my self having sex. But I didn't just see girls. I saw myself doing things with guys. I would imagine how Zack Sloper looked when he was wanking himself or how Marie Wood's breasts would feel in my hands. I didn't know then that it was okay to like guys. I just thought it was weird. Then after I realized that some people were gay and that was alright, I still couldn't understand my sexuality. Bisexuals aren't a dime a dozen in the wizarding world. We tend to group people as straight or gay. Few people even think about bisexuals.

It frustrated me that I was so weird I couldn't even pick a gender to like. Then I read a Muggle book about sexuality that Dad gave me so that he wouldn't have to give me the Talk, and I learned that it was okay to be bisexual too. And that brought me to where I was at the beginning of the summer. I knew I was bi, but I hadn't had a chance to be with any guys.

Scorpius told me that it was easier for him to come to terms with his sexuality. He's never been interested in girls. He knew what being gay was, and his parents never disapproved of it, though they don't understand it. He's been open with them about being gay for about a year now and Dickhead is his only ex-boyfriend.

It's kind of horrible, but I'm glad he's never had another boyfriend. I don't really have much to live up to. Dickhead was such a loser that being a better boyfriend than him will be easy. Scorpius is all mine now, and I'm glad.

**Friday, August 18, 2023**

We still haven't told our parents. We wanted to, really, but we couldn't find them. That my story and I'm sticking to it!

Anyway, we spent the day having fun. Scorpius and I wanted to spread out a blanket down by the ocean and talk for a bit, but we had to go inside out of the sun. The sun was beating down on everything. I thought the concrete sidewalks were going to burn straight through my shoes. (My shoes got so hot I wished my feet were fireproof.)

Inside the boardwalk cafeteria we went ahead and grabbed some lunch. I got a cheeseburger and some French Fries. Scorpius got a hot dog and potato salad, plus he stole half of my fries. I didn't mind though because I know that he loves potatoes and everything made from them. We ended up sitting there and talking for hours and I think we split six orders of fries. (It was mostly Scorpius eating them though. He must have eaten four fries for every one I ate.)

I really like just sitting and talking with him. It's calm and comfortable. Just being around him always relaxes me and makes me feel better.

**Saturday, August 19, 2023**

We spent today in the cafeteria again. It's just too hot to be outside.  
It was a nice way to spend the day, until Dickhead showed up. He wandered over to Scorpius and slung an arm over his shoulders.

"Hey, Scor. You wanna go do something?" The leer he shot Scorpius told me that he didn't just want to sit on a porch swing and gossip.

Scorpius shrugged the arm off. "It's Scorpius, Rick, and no."

Dickhead scowled at him. "What's with you? You're always changing your mind on me. One minute you are hot for me, and the next you are acting cold as ice."

Scorpius didn't look at him. "I'm just not interested in you anymore."

"Were you this fucking weird when we went out?"

Scorpius glared at him. "Were you this bitchy when we went out? I'm not interested in dating a player. I have a new boyfriend now."

Dickhead sneered. "Fine. I'll leave you with your dweeby boyfriend here. Maybe you'll be able to satisfy him better than you did me." He left.

Scorpius turned bright red. "Please tell me you didn't hear that?"

I took a deep breath and held back my laughter. "Yes. I'm sorry."

His flush deepened. "I didn't want you to know I was bad in bed. I understand if you want to dump me. No one wants a boyfriend who sucks at sex."

I did laugh then. "Actually, I would like a boyfriend who "sucks" at sex." Scorpius scowled at me. "Come on, don't get mad! It was funny!"

He smiled lightly. "I guess so. It's just so embarrassing."

"What Dickhead said? You know, I don't believe him. I saw you two having sex and it looked to me like you were doing a very good job." In fact, the image had filled my wank fantasies from then on, only I took Dickhead's place.

"You saw us?" Scorpius stared. "When? Where? Why?"

"I accidentally peeked into your tent during the campout." I told him the whole story and that I had liked him even then. He was mortified, but pleased to discover I had liked him for that long.

At the end of the story I proposed something. "Well, since you think you are bad at sex, and I think you must be good at it, why don't we go perform some tests and see who is right." We abandoned the cafeteria after that.

**Sunday, August 20, 2023**

It's even hot here at night. I got permission from my parents to say out late with Scorpius tonight, so we headed down to the beach when it got dark. It was lonely, black, and quiet. Only one person walked by us as we headed out there, a long-legged girl who was lovely, but nowhere near as cute as Scorpius. She raised an eyebrow at our clasped hands and I could see a look of lust in her eye. What is it about girls that makes them think two guys having sex is hot? At least when I think it's hot I can imagine myself taking part in it.

I stripped off all of my clothes and launched myself into the water when we got to the beach. Scorpius just stared at me from the shore. I told him to come skinny dipping too, but he refused.

"Come on, Scorpius, have fun! Live a little! Don't forget that you are young!"

He shook his head and plopped down on the sand to watch me. I refused to let him just sit there though: I splashed water all over him.

"I'll get you for that, Albus Potter." He waded into the water then in his clothing and came over to me. When he reached down to splash me, I caught ahold of his arm.

"Scorpius…" He looked at me and I kissed him. It was amazing, the feeling of having his lips touching mine and parting for my tongue. I moved gently and slowly and he responded likewise. As I began to heat up the kiss, he took control.

Pulling me back to shore, he collapsed onto the beach and yanked me down with him. I pulled off his shirt and we laid down, kissing the whole time. I was on top and I could feel him hardening under me, so I rubbed myself up against him.

"Now, everything, off!" he gasped as he pulled away and shimmied out of his trousers and pants. "Al, more!"

I was glad to pull him against me and start rubbing again. He kissed me. Seconds later he pulled out of the kiss to moan my name.

My heart throbbed when I heard the passion in his voice. All of that was for me? I whispered back, "I love you."

My response was an extra hard thrust up from him, and I gasped at the sudden friction. We moved quickly, our climaxes building rapidly. Scorpius was the first to orgasm, spilling himself on me and the sand. The sight of him coming brought on my own climax.

As we lay there panting Scorpius sighed. "See, I told you I was bad at sex. I couldn't hold on for more than a couple of minutes."

I smiled even though he couldn't see it in the dark. "I only made it for a few seconds longer than you. And I liked watching you lose control. It was sexy as hell."

He buried his head in my shoulder then, and I think he was blushing because his face felt hot. We spent the night talking and touching. Finally we came back up to our rooms. It's about two in the morning now. I wish I was still with him. We've only been apart for an hour and I miss him.

**Monday, August 21, 2023**

Merlin, if you exist, please cast a spell to make sure that Scorpius never leaves me. I don't think I could handle losing him.

We spent today in Scorpius's hotel room touching and tasting each other. I'm pleased to know that I taste like Dickhead, "only sweeter." Ha! Take that! I taste better than you!

And Scorpius tastes a little bit bitter, but that's okay. The feel of him more than makes up for that.

I'm so in love with him. I adore the way he smiles, and I love the look he gets when he's busy with something. His hair is so soft. His eyes are so gorgeous. Everything about him makes me happy.

I get him out of his clothes. He gets me out of my mind. I keep looking forward to the future, and I can't see it without Scorpius. I'm still a little afraid that he'll dump me once the summer is over. I'll show up on the platform on September first and find him wrapped around another guy. I know I should trust him, but I can't let my heart loose yet. If I let all of my walls fall down, I'll be in trouble if he leaves me.

I want to give myself to him completely, but I can't. Not yet. Not until September.

**Tuesday, August 22, 2023**

We got caught by Mrs. Malfoy.

It was so embarrassing. Thank goodness all we were doing was making out. We were in his bedroom in his family's hotel room, and his mom walked in without knocking. We didn't even hear her. She cleared her throat and scared me so badly I fell off the bed.

We had to sit down and talk to Scorpius's parents then. It actually wasn't horrible. Mr. Malfoy wasn't happy that I was "a Potter _and_ a Weasley. He couldn't just pick one, he had to have both." They were both pleased to find out that Scorpius was happy though, and they said they would support our relationship "even if they didn't like it."

So, one family down, one to go.

**Wednesday, August 23, 2023**

_Hello butthead, this is James. I just want you to know that we all think you are a total dweeb and_

We do NOT think he is a dweeb! Al, we think you are a very good brother and a nice person. We also like your boyfriend a lot. He's really cool and I enjoyed hanging out with him on our boat trip.

**Lily's right. Your boyfriend is totally cool. And hot. Is he definitely gay? Not bi like you?**

_**Shut up, Rose. Al, we like Scorpius. We don't care that you are bisexual. We like you for you and nothing will ever change that.**_

_Okay, Hugo just totally stole my big brother speech. As I was saying, we all think you are a total dweeb, but we still love you._

**And if Scorpius ever decides he likes girls instead of boys, please tell him about me.**

And tell him that if he breaks your heart all of the Potters and Weasleys and Lupins will be coming after him.

_You all keep stealing my speeches!_

It's because you are a horrible big brother. Shut up, I'm writing. Oh, now look what you made me write. Al, that wasn't talking to you. I was yelling at James and accidentally wrote what I was saying.

_Because Lily's a ditz like that._

SHUT UP! Anyway, we love you, Al.

_Yeah, we love you dork. And we are glad that you trusted us enough to come out to us._

**Everyone in the family is proud and some of us are a little bit jealous. Love you!**

_**Love you. The family might be a bit distant for a while, but they aren't upset, just a little stunned. They need to come to terms with you being bisexual before they can deal with this. And don't worry, we didn't read this diary. Well, James started to, but he ended up reading the sex scene and turned green and stopped. Also, I'm stalling for time until they leave. Alright, they are gone. Listen, I think I might be gay. So know that you have my total support and that I am SO GLAD you came out before I did. Also, if you and Scorpius ever break up, point him in my direction, yeah? Thanks!**_


	10. Week 9

**Thursday, August 24, 2023**

Well, I'm glad that my family is somewhat okay with Scorpius and me, but I'm embarrassed that James read about us having sex. I mean, we haven't gone the whole way yet, but I still don't want my brother to know that I'm doing anything with my boyfriend.

Anyway, my cousins and my siblings were probably the most accepting of all of my family members. I think it's because we've been around gay people more often than my parents' generation has. My parents weren't too shocked by the news though.

Dad kind of smiled when I told them and said, "As long as you are happy." Mum blinked, frowned, and then blinked again before saying, "A Malfoy? Really, Al, if you had to pick a boy, couldn't you have gone out with the Thomas boy or Parvati's son?" She hugged me though, so I know she was joking. Mostly.

Grandma and Grandpa just sighed and shook their heads at me. I know it's a disappointment to them that I turned out to be bisexual, but I was a little upset with their reactions. I suppose I should just be happy they didn't decide to exile me from the family or something.

All of my aunts and uncles were in between my parents and grandparents reactions. Some of them were a little disapproving, but most of them said it was fine, "though I should have picked someone who wasn't a Malfoy" and that "at least Scorpius is a nice boy, regardless of his family." So even if they don't really support our relationship right now, I think things will get better over time. Or at least I hope so.

Scorpius was happy when I told him how the explanation went. I didn't mention how much everyone hated that he was a Malfoy, but I did tell him that my family loves him as a person. It made him blush a little. Silly boy.

Mum reminded me tonight that tomorrow is our last full day at the resort. We have to spend Saturday packing and then we are leaving on Sunday. I think I'll do something special with Scorpius tomorrow.

I know that's it been almost two months since we arrived at the resort, but I'm not ready to leave yet. I just discovered the real Scorpius. I'm not ready to lose him. He keeps saying that things won't change when we get back to Hogwarts, but I just can't see things staying the same.

**Friday, August 25, 2023**

I got up early this morning and went down to the front desk to ask what areas on the island were really romantic. The desk clerk told me about a waterfall on the southern-most end of the island that's really secluded and draped in natural privacy spells. He said that the first couple to get there would usually have total privacy for the rest of the day. Then he winked at me and said, "And girls think the waterfall is gorgeous."

I thanked him, but I couldn't help feeling weird. I hate letting people think things about me that aren't true. At the same time, I didn't know what to tell him. How does one explain they are dating a bloke? Do I really even have to? It's just easier to let people think you are normal, I guess.

Anyway, after that I gathered up some food for a picnic. I could only find breakfast foods, so I mostly got fruit and some pastries and muffins. I got Scorpius some hash browns and sausage. That boy loves anything made with potatoes or pigs, I swear.

Then it was time to go wake up Scorpius! I was really excited and practically ran up to his family's suite. I knocked on the door, and his mum answered. It was almost nine by then, so I thanked her and ran into Scorpius's room. First I poked him and he swatted at my hand. When I poked him again he muttered, "I don' wanna go to summer school."

Finally, I gave up and jumped on him. He screamed and shoved me off the bed. I don't think people without siblings are used to other people jumping on them while they are sleeping.

When he calmed down and got dressed (his mum made me sit in the living area while he was naked, which was very disappointing,) I told him what the day's plan was. He was not overly impressed, but I promised it would be worth it.

We headed off to the waterfall. When we got there it was a horrible mess of flowers and bushes and trees. It was perfect. There was a little clearing by the pool of the waterfall, and no one could see in into the clearing from outside of it. (I checked. Multiple times. Because I'm Scorpius is paranoid.)

We spread out a blanket next to some tiger lilies. I didn't know what they were called, but Scorpius informed me of their name and called me an uncultured baboon, but he did it with a smile, so I know he was only joking. Then we spread out the food. Scorpius just about had an orgasm when he saw the hash-browns and sausage. The look on his face was so sexy.

So, of course, I tried to get him out of his clothes.

I started by saying, "Hey, Scorpius, aren't you hot? Don't you want to take off some of your clothes?"

He just looked at me and started sucking on a sausage. The thought of his mouth wrapped around a different kind of sausage immediately invaded my mind.

I was desperate to get him naked and under me, so I scooted over next to him and said, "If I was you, I would just walk around naked all the time. I wouldn't have a job. I wouldn't have any skills. I wouldn't even know how to read. I would just be... naked."

He smirked at me. "Is that so?" he asked. I nodded, and he laughed at me. "You are so transparent," he said and then he kissed me.

I ended up underneath him and undressed before he even lost his shirt. Eventually we both ended up naked though, so it didn't really matter. We still didn't go all the way, partially because I've never gone all the way with a guy before, but mostly because I'm not ready to lose that last bit of myself to Scorpius. I don't really want to end up with a broken heart come September first.

Before I knew it, my last day here on the island drifted away, and all that was left was one more night. I broke it to Scorpius that I won't be able to spend tomorrow with him, and he seemed to take it okay. We promised to send owls to each other until we got back to Hogwarts. Then we spent the rest of the evening talking. We won't even be apart for a week, but I'm going to miss him.

**Saturday, August 26, 2023**

Today was my last day at the resort. This was definitely an odd vacation, but I really enjoyed it here. I ate breakfast with Scorpius, and we said our goodbyes. Well, really it was more like "see you later."

Then I came back to the room and I've been packing ever since. I think we have almost everything put together now, except for what we will need in the morning. I'm getting ready to go to sleep now. I'm still not ready to leave, but I don't have much choice in the matter.

**Sunday, August 27, 2023**

We are heading home now. We already took a roomkey from the resort to the airport, and now we are on the plane getting ready for take off.

I didn't sleep much last night. I think I'm just going to take a nap on the flight. I know that if I stay awake my family will want to talk to me, and I'm just not in the mood.

It's been over twenty-four hours since I last saw Scorpius. I miss him.

**Monday, August 28, 2023**

We got home very late last night, so we didn't see anyone. This morning I woke up to Guy Coote hammering on my door. I let him in, and he was immediately all up in my face asking me questions.

Guy is one of my best friends. I love him to pieces, really. It just that most people, meeting him for the first time, form three impressions of him: that he's English, that he's intelligent, and that he's gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide. Really, he is all of these things, but he isn't the "gay" gay. He's a metrosexual (I think that's the term) and loves fashion, but he hates being called a homosexual because he's straight as a ruler. So his kind of "gay" is the crazy, happy kind.

His first question after rushing into my room and stealing my spot on my bed was, "How many girls did you bag while you were away?" and his second one was, "Did you bring me any island clothing?"

I said, "No." and "None."

He frowned. "What did you do then?"

He sat there, waiting for me to answer, and I knew that I had to tell him about Scorpius. "Well, I met a boy, who was as cute as can be. And wouldn't you know he was crazy for me?"

"Uh-huh," he said. "And where are you going with this?"

"It happened so fast. I tried to fight it, but..."

He grinned. "Summer love, eh? Was it love at first sight?"

I stared at him. "Don't you care that I said I was involved with a boy?"

"No, not as long as you give me all the details. Gay, straight, it doesn't matter. Just tell me, did you get very far?"

I blushed, and he had his answer. "Little Alby had sex!"

I glared at him. "Shut it. It's not like I was a virgin or anything."

"You should have been an arse virgin. What guy fucked you before this one?"

"Wait, what?" I really couldn't believe he had said that. "We didn't go all the way. And what makes you think I'd be the bottom?!"

"Al, you are the follower. You never would have dated a girl if Topaz hadn't pressured you into it. And you wouldn't have had sex with her either. You are lucky she wanted you enough to seduce you."

I made a bit of a mistake then when I was trying to stick up for my manliness. "Well, if you must know, I kissed him first. That's leading a relationship, right? And I haven't been fucked by any guy, not even Scorpius."

Guy just blinked at me. "Scorpius. Now, I know that isn't a common name, but please tell me Scorpius was a cute island boy and not Scorpius Malfoy."

I couldn't lie. "He was Scorpius Malfoy."

He burst out laughing. "That's too much. You're probably right then. Malfoy's more of a femme than me. You would be the top."

"Shut up!" I hit him over the head with a pillow. He just laughed louder. "Scorpius is not a femme. He's amazing."

Guy stuck out his tongue. "Tell me more then. If you didn't go all the way, how did you spend those long, hot summer nights?"

"We talked."

"You're in love. You really like him." Guy was dumbfounded.

"How did you think I felt? Of course I love him! I didn't decide to get involved with a guy. It just… happened." The look on Guy's face really upset me.

"You mean… you're gay?"

"No, I'm not."

He sighed and smiled. "I thought you must have just been experimenting. I'm glad I was right."

I could have left it at that, but it felt like I was betraying my love for Scorpius. "I'm bi." I tried to explain to him that I was attracted to both men and women, but he didn't seem to understand.

"Why don't you just pick birds or blokes?" he asked.

"It's not that easy! It's not like I'm only attracted to one gender at a time. Right now, I like a man. If we break up, I might fall in love with a woman. It's not like I can say that from now on I will only date women."

We ended up talking about it for a long time. I still don't think he understands, but at least he isn't grossed out by it. I'm glad I didn't lose one of my best friends over this. I'm still not sure how my family will handle the idea that I'm bisexual, but that's okay. I'll take things one step at a time.

Then again, this might not be an issue. I still haven't heard from Scorpius.

**Tuesday, August 29, 2023**

I'm so tired. We went out and battled the crowds in Diagon Alley today. I still haven't heard from Scorpius. I don't know whether I should owl him or not. If I haven't heard from him, by tomorrow, I will.

That's not overbearing is it? I just miss him and want to talk to him. Maybe he doesn't want to talk to me though. We never really decided on who would send the first letter though. So, maybe he's just afraid to contact me too? I dunno. I miss him. I'm going to go crawl into bed and sleep.

**Wednesday, August 30, 2023**

It's raining. I hate the rain. English summer rain seems to last for ages. I went down to the basement of Grimmauld Place today to hide from my family. They are driving me crazy. So I sat down there and listened to the rain for ages. I'm trying to figure out what I should say in my letter.

I love you. I miss you. Drop on by and see me!

No, that's not right.

How have you been? Are you home yet? Are you alive?

That's stupid.

Hey Scorpius. Are you home yet? I'm home and we went shopping yesterday in Diagon Alley for school

All right. I need to calm down. I'm going to hold my breath and count to ten.

It didn't help. Why hasn't he written me?

Dear Scorpius, Why haven't you written me you fucking bastard?!

NO. Not unless I WANT him to dump me.

Dear Scorpius,  
Everything here at home is the same. Nothing ever changes in this dusty old house. I'm in the basement, and you might as well be in the sky. I can't touch you anymore. I can't feel your heart beating against mine. I can't hear your voice whispering in my ear. I can't taste your skin. And I sure as hell can't see your face.  
Why haven't you written? Am I the only one who feels like he's falling apart?  
I miss you. I love you.

Well, that would work, if I wanted him to read it, laugh at how pitiful I am, and toss the letter, and my heart along with it, into his fireplace. I'll have to start again later.

**Thursday, August 31, 2023**

I didn't send a letter last night. Guy came over, and we started packing up my stuff for Hogwarts. I went over to his house today to help him pack his stuff. I kept spacing out and thinking about Scorpius. I decided not to send the letter because maybe he decided he didn't want to be connected to "The Son of the Saviour" after all. Maybe he doesn't love me. Maybe he went back to Dickhead.

No. I'll trust him. I know he didn't do that. I know he loves me.

I hope he still loves me...

**Friday, September 1, 2023**

We are driving to the station now. Less than fifteen minutes from now I will see Scorpius. I think I'm going to toss my breakfast. It might just be Uncle Ron's driving causing that though.

Later…

When we got to the station I was nervous. I climbed out of the car and helped unload the stuff. We made our way through the barrier, and I was the last one through. As soon as I made it to the other side, I found myself looking at Scorpius.

I wanted to run, but I knew there was nowhere to hide. His eyes caught mine then, and there was no one else alive. He has the silver eyes of a temptress, but at that moment they reminded me of fire.

It was like they were spitting spite at me. His anger filled me, spread through my blood, and I knew I wouldn't run.

I walked over to him and his eyes continued to glare at me. "Why didn't you write me?" he demanded.

"Why didn't you write me?" I asked in return.

"You were the one who said you'd write. I was waiting for you."

"I thought you were going to write first."

His eyes softened then. "Are we still… together, then?"

I reached out to touch him, but he backed away. "I'm gay. I am who I want to be, but you could be anything."

I grabbed his hand. "All that matters to me is being something with you. I don't need labels."

He let me pull him into a hug. "I've missed you," I murmured in his ear.

"I've missed you, too. Are we okay?"

I pushed him away and looked at him. He looked serious. "Yes." I embraced him again, and struggled not to cry as I came to terms with the fact that he really was mine. "I was so afraid I was just a summer fling."

"I was afraid of that, too. I was afraid I was just an experiment and that you wouldn't even look at me this year."

We stepped apart then when Lily and a bunch of her friends started giggling. "Try to avoid making out in public, boys," she said. "You're going to gross people out!"

Scorpius just smirked at her. "You know it turns you on."

Lily and I both gagged at that, but Lily and her friends left, and Scorpius and I started moving towards the train. We spent most of the ride talking, but Scorpius is sleeping now, so I'm writing in here. He confessed that he couldn't sleep last night because he thought I was going to leave him. Merlin, I love this boy. I hope I never lose him.

I'm at the very bottom of the last page of this not-diary now though. The summer's over, it's time for school to start, and I have Scorpius by my side. I'd say that while this book is over, my story has only just begun.

The Beginning

A/N: This is it! The end... or the beginning. :)

Thank you all for your support. I apologize for the quality of this fic. I haven't had any part of this betaed and it shows. Once I complete some other responsibilities, I hope to come back an clean this up. Until then, I hope you enjoyed this fic. :)


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